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I observed students and business men committing suicide just because they could not achieve what they wanted to .In Tamil Nadu recently there has been three consecutive suicide deaths of students in a span of one week. And all suicides because of fear of failing in their NEET Exam.
There is a rat race. Imagine millions and millions of people running just one race for the same thing. It seems running for one's own life every day. It is a race to realize an elusive dream. To achieve this one must let go everything- the pressure to get is intense One example I can cite here is that of striving for elite college admissions status to enter an elite profession. How tragic is the effect that this rat race is having on students when they don't achieve this?
It leads to depression and in most of the cases suicide- Reading the book Failure is a knock on the Door of success will hopefully give them solace that not getting admission is not the end and sacrificing one's life is not worth . There could be better things waiting for them so they should just push on.
Failure is a very powerful ingredient for success. No one likes to fail but it has been observed that those who fail often come back and win. Failure is the pillar of, and roadway to, success. Failure is a lure for success; it is neither incompetence nor indignity. It is a trigger to continue, to not give up. It is really very depressing to observe that our society portrays harsh images of success and failure. We should always WIN is the mantra they prescribe. If we lose, we are doomed. It is the culture of conformity. Its mantra is to go along to get along. Its prescribed standards are stringent. But one should not get terrorized and frozen by such standards.
This single-track success driven approach creates stress and tensions that one may find difficult to handle. What needs to be emphatically highlighted is that successful people are those who accept and embrace failure without making excuses and move ahead to plan out the next move.
It must be kept in mind and understood that success is a journey. It is a continuous process. The road leading to success will not always be smooth. This journey will not always provide unending and continual joy. There will be difficulties, setbacks, obstacles and roadblocks. There will be moments when you start questioning your commitment. These will emerge irrespective of whether you are on the right path or the wrong path. So, you should recognize that while it might sometimes be hard, you will need to make an effort to re-establish and reconnect with the positive vibes you felt when you started moving towards your desired goal.
There is no magic potion that energizes and makes people successful. It is for you to define what success means to you.
Failure is a knock on the door of success. Continue knocking and the door of success will certainly open.
Failure will never overtake you if you:
- keep your determination to succeed strong enough
- have steely faith in your resilience
- break free from the clutches of self-doubts and fears that frighten you and hold you back from moving forward
- use your fears as fuel to ignite the fire within you to continue marching ahead
Remember---Whenever failure visits you it is not to knock you down but to inspire and motivate you to learn and improve
Post updated on: Nov 30, 2021 10:00:03 PM
Remember when you set your goals, divide it into two, one for what you want to achieve, that's the Product Goal and the other for how you want to achieve i.e., Process Goal. A product goal is one which highlights what you are going to achieve, your destination such as, Bruce Lee mentioning I, Bruce Lee, will be the first highest paid Oriental super star in the United States Starting 1970 I will achieve world fame.
A process goal is what you will do to get it. It means developing a prescription for success called strategy as Michael Johnson did by developing a work out and petitioning the Olympic committee daily to move the 200 and the 400 meters run to different days. He won both the 200 meters and 400 meters events at the same Olympics, a feat he accomplished at the 1996 Summer Olympics in Atlanta.
This is how achievers prepare plan -and follow it very closely. It forms a part of their daily work habits and then they periodically evaluate themselves on it as well. And, you must learn to do the same way. Work out a strategy how to fill the gap between the Starting point and the destination. This is what will help you in realization of your vision.
Remember -- Vision is critical and Strategy is crucial
Your vision is your goal. Your strategy is your plan that highlights how you are going to achieve or realize your Vision. Without this your journey will be directionless.
Set your goals. It will provide focus. Chalk out some concrete plans for realization of the set goals. Execute your plan and don?t worry whether you have succeeded or not. Rework your plans if they fail, identify loopholes and use methods which help you overcome these loopholes.
Powerful goals have three components: Usual Expression is SMART that has five components; however, I have used 3 that includes the other two as well.
They must be inspiring. They must be inspiring. They must be believable. They must be goals you can act on. They should not be vague. When your goals inspire you, when you believe and act on them, you will accomplish them. Vague goals produce vague results, says Jack canfield (Author and Motivational speaker) . Must be believable. They must be goals you can act on. They should not be vague. When your goals inspire you, when you believe and act on them, you will accomplish them. Vague goals produce vague results says Jack canfield (Author and Motivational speaker) .
Setting goals would enable you to identify the loopholes, gauge yourself and help you march smoothly towards achieving them easily. These goals would help you climb the ladder of success in slow but concretely assured steps.
When you have a large goal to achieve, make sure that you divide it into smaller goals which seem easy to achieve. It is an important strategy to keep learning and to stay relevant.
However, we sometimes observe that there are people who have good education, have right attitude, are honest and have sincere desire to achieve something of their own, fall behind those people who have no education, have poor attitude, and are often dishonest and unethical. It is so strikingly different from what in reality it should be. It is really baffling. Why is it so?
Obvious answer would be absence of concrete plans to realize their set goals. We don't set our goals and work at achieving them. They do so. We don?t work hard in developing our plans to realize our dreams and work hard day in day out to make our dreams a reality but they do it day in day out
This highlights the importance of setting goals and having a concrete plan to achieve them. And then working on those plans with dogged determination...
Post updated on: Oct 16, 2021 11:41:27 AM
You can't hit a target you can't see ―Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.? Arthur Ashe American Tennis player
To march on the path of success you have to know what you are.Be very clear about your ability to do what you wish to do. It is the starting point. Now decide what you want to be or what you want to do. This will be your destination i.e. Your vision. Knowing the starting point will enable you to navigate to your destination.
Set goals Bruce Lee and Michael Johnson way
Bruce Lee popular martial arts expert and Hollywood star and Michael Johnson, the Olympic champion sprinter set crystal clear goals for themselves that included not only a blueprint of what they wanted to achieve and how but also a deadline.
Bruce Lee always remained specific and clearly laid out his intentions and backed them up with discipline and focus. He made his intentions clear in the following letter that he wrote on 19th January 1969, the letter very clearly defines what he wanted to achieve and do.
My Definite Chief Aim
I, Bruce Lee, will be the first highest paid Oriental super star in the United States. In return I will give the most exciting performances and render the best of quality in the capacity of an actor. Starting 1970 I will achieve world fame and from then onward till the end of 1980 I will have in my possession $10,000,000. I will live the way I please and achieve inner harmony and happiness. Bruce Lee, Jan. 1969
He just didn't write himself a letter of intent and then wait for the world to embrace him. He worked for it hard and achieved.
If you truly want something, what could be more fulfilling than getting fully involved and pouring yourself into it every Michael Johnson-an American Sprinter
Michael Johnson-an American Sprinter
He had set a goal to win Gold medals in the 200 as well as in 400 meters sprint at the 1996 Summer Olympics in Atlanta. He wrote down those goals indicating the time he would win them. However, there was a problem that needed to be solved if Michael Johnson was to achieve the set goal. The problem related to both the events being organized on the same date, it was therefore apparently almost impossible for him to run both and win
However he set the goals In clear terms. After having done so he remembered what his father used to ask him every time he set a goal .The question asked used to be ?What are you going to do about it? and ?Now that you have a goal, how are you going to achieve it??
Taking a cue from his father?s repeatedly asked question Johnson developed a workout regime with his coach that involved specific weight training, stretching and running intervals five days a week. In addition, he successfully petitioned the Olympic Committee daily to move the 200 and the 400 meters run to different days.
Follow these great achievers. Write down your vision in precise detail. Include a deadline. Having an exact idea of what you?re going to accomplish will create the right mindset.
Post updated on: Oct 10, 2021 7:20:48 PM
Do not cry over the past, its gone. Do not stress about the future, it hasn't arrived .live in the present and make it beautiful. Anonymous Letting go means Forget. Forget the painful memories and thoughts, Stop dwelling in the past and free yourself from unhappy feelings and the hurts you received from somebody. People who hold on to these past hurts often relive the pain over and over in their minds and get ?stuck? in this pain, in this hurt.
Your mind remains cluttered with Negatives blocking your way forward. Do not let the past hold sway over you. Do not let your mind focus on missed opportunities, slights and failures .Focus on what lies ahead. If you do let go it will help you freeing yourself from the fear and from something trivial and insignificant that happened in the distant past and has no relevance in the present and is hindering your progress... I may narrate here something about the advice I got about letting go from two of my family members.
In my usual sittings on and off with my younger daughter in law and younger daughter, I would in the course of conversation drift to some past painful incidents that had caused a lot of hurts to me . Whenever an opportunity arose I would mention that. It became so repetitive that both of them a bit assertively told me? Dad how long you will live in the past , please live in the present ,don't read the history of past , you are a dreamer ,enjoy the real dreams of future; If you continue living with the past hurts, it will kill your creativity.
Let go the past please., Don't replay the past memories, Don't struggle with hurts you were inflicted or failures you had in the past Why do you invest lot of time in 'what if ',could have, should have done? differently . This will be self destructive, and will prevent you from enjoying the present and planning for the future. Don't get stuck in the past dad.? What they said made sense and I acted upon their advice and started devoting more time to reading and writing, I am not sure if I have forgotten those of mine who really behaved with me very nastily and caused very deep hurts but certainly I have forgiven.
Result is the rebirth of my creativity. I have become more mellowed .After getting unfettered from the negative and painful thoughts of the past. I wrote my memoirs, as well as wrote many articles That's the advantage from pulling yourself free out of the grip of past painful hurts.
And the lesson is- Focus on the present - the here and now. And do not weep for the past. I unshackled the grip of the anger and resentment. My letting go removed the block. It liberated me from the clutches of resentment and anger. It made me stop telling myself that story where ? I am forever the victim of this other person's horrible actions. When you focus on the here and now, you have less time to think about the past.
Post updated on: Sep 21, 2021 1:17:25 PM
Advice to Grand children
My darlings
Don't be jealous
Jealousy is a highly negative emotion. It cannot bear the rise of another person. It pulls the person down and devours the one who is struck with it. Jealousy in one's heart is the cause of downfall. It is a self ?degrading tendency, don't allow it to drag you down. Stay away from it.
Respect Your Parents
Fixing a day as Mother's Day/ Father's Day implies respecting / honoring your parents just for a single day of the year. This negates moral/ religious injunction that prescribes the extent to which one has to venerate ones parents and obey them.
God is the creator but remember your parents are responsible in bringing you in this world. Parents are co-creators with God, therefore, respecting parents is respecting God, This is the reason parents are ranked second to God for obedience,
Looking after parents is not a duty. It's your main calling in life‖: so said Suhel seth a very suave and effective communicator in a panel discussion in Times Litfest 2017
. Register this in your mind. Old age is similar to your childhood days. Accept your parents as they are. Don't deny them the pleasure of doing what they enjoy doing, like reading newspaper of their choice and similar other things
- So
- Value and respect your parents every day
- Do good to your parents Don't shout at them
- Don't raise your voice over them
- Don't answer them back
- Don't make them feel by your actions that you don't want them to stay with you
- Don't ever use the expressions ―Uff or bang the door at their back or do some similar acts that shows disgust, annoyance, irritation
21st century generation will find me sounding regressive .They will argue it is 21st century, all of us want our own space forgetting that once they were born and as they were growing their parents didn't want their own space, they didn't look for their own comfort zone. This is a lamentably disturbing thought process .I wish, you, my grandchildren don't get affected by this thought process
Don't Grumble
Don't complain about Small things. It makes life journey unpleasant I realized and learnt this a bit late in my long life journey. Grumbling about things that annoy you does not make life happy. It worsens it The secret to happy life is just to avoid things that irritate There is always an option to fix the annoyance that irritates Find that option to fix it rather than brood over it and make your life journey uncomfortable- For instance if you have a tiff with your sibling or friend, sort it out Why ponder over the existence of the annoyance; ignore it and just move on .So stop complaining about small things and make your life journey pleasant
Decide to Decide
This is a caption I picked up from a book on Customer Service management I read a year back. I like the caption so have included it here What does deciding to decide mean? The writer of this caption defines this as taking a stand not to do certain things like smoking, being unfaithful, taking drugs etc. For me it arose when I had heart attack and my cardiologist told me blockage was on account of nicotine that got lodged in the arteries. I was a chain smoker. I concluded at the very moment that I would give up smoking and I did that. Deciding to decide comes into play when some lifelong bad habits have to be changed that profoundly affect health, home, and family. Deciding to decide does not leave any scope for debating and arguing, Bad habits are stubborn and difficult to give up
Make the following your Mantras
Never say never, take up all challenges
Do something you are passionate about, work hard on it and success will kiss your feet
Arise, Awake and stop not till you reach your goal?
Once you start don't take a break, if you rest you then rust
Life is the most difficult exam? which many fail because they try to copy others not realizing that everyone has a different question papers don't copy others
Keep yourself grounded and never forget the struggle that takes you to the privileged position. Remain cognizant of your roots ‗this will help you remain grounded
Never forget the people who helped you get to the privileged position you are in. Great people always acknowledge the helping hands
Keep learning and growing
Points to Remember
- Never stop being bold, and curious (Columbus would not have achieved what he did)
- Never criticize before thinking
- There is no such thing as a stupid question
- Be tenacious, Unrelenting, passionate and thorough
- It is never too late to learn
- If you are convinced about something, you should stand by it no matter what anyone says.
- All it takes is Belief and some Spine ? Find inspiration to motivate yourself
SO in a nutshell
lBe yourself, Bless yourself ,Trust yourself, value yourself ,accept yourself, Express yourself, Forgive yourself, Empower yourself. Be inspired to motivate yourself -and you will achieve the goal you have set for yourself
Post updated on: Sep 18, 2021 7:27:57 PM
How effective Mentoring relationship can be achieved.
When we mentor someone, we have an opportunity to guide the mentee positively on the course of his / her career.
Most people who achieved something had someone who believed in and encouraged them at the start of their career. It made a real difference in their career growth and that person is a mentor. The mentoring relationship is a shared opportunity for learning and growth.
Let us remember the teacher, or, boss who believed in us and helped us believe in ourselves.
A mentor as discussed in the previous blog provides a mentee with support, counsel, friendship, guidance and advice. Mentors are, the people who care, who listen and who want to help.
In the best mentor mentee relationships mentor helps the mentee define and achieve his/her goals.
A mentor, might help the mentee:
- Set some career goals and start to make them happen.
- Strengthen communication skills
To be effective mentor. He/she should
1) Have a sincere desire to be with mentee.
2) Respect mentees .
3) Actively listen.
4) Empathize.
5) See solutions and opportunities.
6) Be flexible and open.
Role of a Mentor
Defining roles of a mentor can be very challenging, to understand this ; let's start with something we are familiar with.
Most of us have a supervisor "a boss in our office" Let's discuss about the job of a supervisor.
A Supervisor wears many "hats" He is a
Role model.
Cheerleader.
Coach
Policy Enforcer
Spokesperson for senior management.
Liaison between staff and organization.
Just as supervisors wear many "hats" so does a mentor. Here are some of the roles a mentor plays, and does not play
A mentor is a Role Model; He/she is a
- Guide
- Friend
- Coach
- Motivator
- Supporter
A mentor is not a
- Social worker
- Parent
- Parole officer
- Baby sitter
- Therapist
- Savior
What Mentees Want from a Mentor?
When this question is asked, the new employees invariably say that they want a mentor to help in three key areas i.e.
- Advice
- Access
- Advocacy
Mentors should find from their mentees what they want from them
Advice
Mentors, bring a wide range of experiences. As a result they can be a great source of advice and information to mentees. They can help mentees gain a new perspective by sharing their experiences...
Mentors role is to offer insight, advice and suggestions. It is the mentee's role to evaluate the options, consider what the mentors have said, and then make the best decision.
Access
One of the most valuable things mentors can do for their mentees is to help open doors. That's what ?access? is all about.
They can help their mentees find people, opportunities and information that mentees might not have found on their own. They can help them about resources that will help reach their goals.
Advocacy
Here mentees have someone stand up for them when they need it. Or speak on their behalf . That's what advocacy is all about.
But to be an effective advocate mentors have to really get to know their mentees. The more they learn about their mentees, the stronger an advocate they can be.
However acting as an advocate for career promotion / salary raise is not their role.
Tips for Success
Now that mentors know what is expected of them, here are some Do?s and Don?ts that they should remember.
Do Appreciate any signs of growth
- Don't Think they are going to change the world overnight
Do Listen carefully to what their mentee say
- Don't Jump to conclusions
Do Ask good questions
- Don't Be judgmental
Do Share their thoughts and feelings with their r mentees
- Don't Forget communication means- listening too
Do Remember to be on time
- Don't Forget, how important they are to their mentees
Do Try their best to be good role models
- Don't Try to be a parent
Be interested in their mentees
- Don't Try to impose their beliefs or values on a mentee.
Do Show that they recognize the mentee's values
- Don't Settle for rudeness
Do strive for mutual respect
- Don?t Be advocate for promotion / salary increase ?etc
Be honest
Post updated on: Sep 18, 2021 1:20:28 AM
Advice to Grand children
My darlings
Your Biggest Asset is yourself. Polish this asset. And a very valuable component of this asset is your mind, nourish it, don't let it be cluttered with negatives-control it, don't allow yourself to be controlled by it.
Be yourself.
There is something that you can do better than any other. You are special and unique; Accept and embrace your uniqueness Original is always better and has more worth than a copy. If you know who you are, you can have more flexibility in what you decide to do, and clearer about what not to do.
Don't compare yourself with anyone.
If you compare, you are insulting yourself. You are Unique. you are a nature? greatest miracle. There never has been, nor ever will be, anyone exactly like you, you are endowed with remarkable potential abilities that you can develop to perform extraordinarily well-no one can do it? your uniqueness lies in it. Every successful person has a painful story. And every painful story has a successful ending. Accept the pain and get ready for success. As Napoleon Hill said ―Nothing can bring you success but yourself― Sense of worth and self-confidence comes when you accept yourself as you are. Not when you are trying to be what other people expect.
Follow these steps
1. To march on the path of success you have to know what you are it is the starting point?
2. Knowing the starting point will enable you to navigate to the Next Destination, what you want to be i.e., decide what you want. As Arthur Ashe says you can't hit a target you can't see ―Start where you are. Use what you have. "Do what you can" this is your vision statement
3. Now proceed to Strategize how to fill the gap between the Starting point and destination.
Remember -- Vision is critical and Strategy is crucial
In implementation of this scheme of things you will face many deterrents but don't get bogged down.
Be Fearless ―
The only thing we have to fear is the fear itself- ―so said President Roosevelt
But you
Do not Fear the Fear. Fear pulls you back from doing what you wish to do. It tempts you to give up. Don't fall prey to this temptation ? Realize that when you feel like giving up, it may just be that you are a few inches away from your winning destination.
Develop an attitude of ―feel the fear and do it anyway
Your destiny is too great, your assignment is too important, your time too valuable. Don't let fear intimidate you- Joel Osteen
Learn to let go Don't Give up
Some of us think holding on makes us strong‟ but sometimes it is letting go?? says Hermann Hesse in his book Reflections
Learn to let go
If you do let go it will help you freeing yourself from the fear and from something trivial and insignificant that is blocking your way. You unshackle the fear that has gripped you. Letting go removes the block. It liberates from the fetters of fear. Letting go is self-care. Learn Not to Give Up; Don't hold on to the past
Giving up means you are allowing fear to limit your opportunities. Don't give up means you are free from the fetters of FEAR; You have unshackled it and fear no longer will pull you back and your life progress will not be restricted.
Giving up is self-defeat-Get rid of these Negatives. Giving up means you are stuck Don?t get stuck It means you are selling yourself short. Don?t sell yourself short. Don't Give UP as Babe Ruth says "You just can't beat the person who never gives up."
Be confident in what you do.
There may be tough times, but the difficulties which you face will make you more determined to achieve your objectives and to win against all the odds.
Success is not measured by what you accomplish, but by the opposition you have encountered, and the courage with which you have maintained the struggle against overwhelming odds.
When things start getting tough, it is the starting point for success;
it is not a sign to quit Self Belief and Hard work will bring you success.
Post updated on: Sep 18, 2021 1:16:25 AM
Late APJ Abdul Kalam-ex president of India's view on how to deal with failure is - if you fail, never give up because it means First Attempt in Learning, He said never read success stories, you will get a message. Read Failure stories you will get some ideas to get success.
He further says Failure is a disease. If you want to kill it use the best medicine of hard work and confidence .It will make you successful.
Fear is one of the most destructive of human emotions. It can disrupt your normal sleep. It can maim you. It can force you to suppress your full self. It can crush your creativity. It makes you brittle and weak. You can be paralyzed by the unknown. You will languish if you allow yourself to be controlled by fear. Don't let it happen.
Fear is momentary. It does not last long. It is irrational. What you fear never happens. Don't let it block you from progressing. Don't allow it to prevent and keep you from moving on.
Fear has two meanings says Buddha; Forget everything and run or Face everything and rise, The choice is yours. Our choice should be; Face and Rise, don't run away, don't avoid the blocks; confront these blocks, kick them out of your way and continue your journey.
DOUBLE YOUR FAILURE rate; so, advised Thomas J Watson - a past president of IBM on how to be successful. It is on the rubbles of failures that edifice of successes is erected.
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate. So said an American comedian and writer. George Burns. How true it is !.
Once you eliminate the fear of failure, you can accomplish amazing things. Remember all great achievements are accompanied by great failure and rejections .
Fear is our biggest enemy. Fear is what stunts our growth, narrows our ambitions, and kills our dreams, so Fear not. Don?t allow fear to wrap your life. Have the strength to say no to wrong things and embrace the right ones.
One cannot do the right things from fear. Failure is an experience. Experience a few failures. They will show you what didn't work out. They are sure shot mantra for success. If you are not failing you are not working.
There is no reason to fear failure. In the words of Bill Gates, it is fine to celebrate success but more important is to heed the lessons from Failure. Failure shows you the way to succeed. This is corroborated by an American retired sprinter Michael Jonson who said I have failed over and over again in my life .
And that is why I succeed?
Key Take Away -
- Fear makes us nervous It can prevent us from introducing ourselves to people (fear of rejection),
- Fear holds us back from starting profitable business ventures (fear of failure),
- Fear discourages us from experiencing wonderful things (fear of the unknown)
- Take failure as your driver and motivator
Post updated on: Sep 11, 2021 10:00:13 PM
Sweetness of success is in the bitterness of patience-Imam Ali (as)
Here is a story of a farmer that lends credence to what Imam Ali (as) has said. A small farmer lived in a village with a small not so fertile piece of land. He was a kind hearted man and believed in simple living. He was a contented man having no excessive desires.
on the piece of land that he owned he was not able to grow enough crops. He being a man of positive thoughts, always believed and never gave up on his belief that one day he would surely be able to grow sufficient quantity of of crops on his dry and infertile land. His neighbors and his friends always discouraged him to do anything on this piece of land; instead everybody asked him to try growing crops on some other land but he stuck to his belief; kept patience and continued trying various methods to make the land fertile.
His patience paid him good rewards and one day he successfully raised crops on his dryland. It shows that being patient always leads you to the way of success.
Sweet are the fruits of patience so said Mahatma Gandhi the architect of our freedom, and global symbol of Stubborn courage and patience. He won freedom with tremendous amount of patience. His steadfastness in pursuing the path of truth (Satyagrah)and non-violence (Ahimsa) won admiration from all over the world. He remained adamant about his principles of Non-Violence and Satyagraha. He didn't bow before anyone, but at the same time, remained non-violent. He said, you can chain me, you can torture me, you can even destroy my body, but you can never imprison my mind. There can't be a better example of patience is a virtue that leads to success than the father of land Mahatma Gandhi. The key to success is Patience, as reflected in Mahatma Gandhi's success in liberating India.
This shows people who showed patience became successful.
So when you want to do something completely new, you need to have patience. Everything is not going to happen overnight. Make a plan. Visualize the outcome and think of the obstacles and challenges you will face. Think of the blocking stones and then chalk out the strategy to tackle them. Your energy, your motivation and the drive will take you to your desired destination. The day you plant the seed is not the day you get to eat the fruit, so be realistic, be patient and aim to do just one thing at a time.
A young man asked Tolstoy, How long to be patient. Can water ever hold in a sieve? Tolstoy replied, It will hold, be patient. When water turns into ice it will be held even within a sieve.?
Patience is a virtue .It requires resolve to develop and nurture it, All great achievers had this virtue. Patience makes you experience calmness, Success comes with a clam mind .Patience is a very great mantra to success .I have seen that those who remained patient have gone far ahead in life. Those who were impatient and restless got left behind and lost. Practice patience. Don't give up. You will break through. I promise you, the principle always Works
As American author and speaker Joyce Meyer has put it. Patience is not simply the ability to wait. It is how we behave while we are waiting?
If you are impatient, then your work will yield unripe fruits that will be sour. A fruit comes to fruition only when it is fully ripe. A ripe mango tastes many times sweeter than a raw one. So whatever you do, be patient with yourself and watch success smiling at you. A patient person will never be restless
-Imam Ali (a.s) says I will be patient until patience tires of my patience. Patience is the ability not only to wait but the ability to keep good attitude. One who practices patience will never be deprived of success, even though it may take a long time to reach him.
Post updated on: Sep 11, 2021 9:41:51 PM
Mentoring is a fundamental form of human development where one person invests time, energy and personal know-how in assisting the growth and ability of another person. Mentors are those special people in our lives who, through their deeds and work, help us to move toward fulfilling that potential.
Helping Agents
Mentors are helpers. A persistent encourager who helps us build our self-confidence, a stern taskmaster who teaches us to appreciate excellence in performance.
New Visions
An older, more experienced person helps and guides a younger person in learning the ropes in an organization or on the job. Mentoring also used to describe the activities of a senior person in preparing a junior for a particular office or job, providing career guidance and encouraging high standards of performance.
Mentoring Relationships
"Friendship mentoring" consists of being available as needed to discuss problems, to listen, or to share special knowledge.
Variety In Behaviors
A mentor is one who offers knowledge, insight, perspective or wisdom that is especially useful to the other person.
A process whereby mentor and mentee work together to discover and develop the mentee's latent abilities, to provide the mentee with knowledge and skills as opportunities and needs arise, for the mentor to serve as an effective tutor, counselor, friend and foil who enables the mentee to sharpen skills and hone her or his thinking.
Seven Types Of Mentor Assistance
Seven types of mentor assistance that are particularly helpful in encouraging mentee growth. These are:
1. Helping a person shift her or his mental context
2. Listening when the mentee has a problem
3. Identifying mentee feelings and verifying them ( feedback )
4. Effectively confronting negative intentions or behaviors
5. Providing appropriate information when needed
6. Delegating authority or giving permission
7. Encouraging exploration of options
Negative Behaviors
Mentors want good things to happen to their mentees. They want them to be effective, productive, achieving, successful and happy. However, in their eagerness to help their mentees, they may revert to behaviors that prove to be less than helpful. Three such behaviors are: -
Criticizing
Giving advice
Rescuing people from their own folly
Determining Mentee Expectations
Checking Mentee Expectations
Three methods of ascertaining mentee's expectations are:
1. Ask the mentee to write a brief essay of one or two pages describing what he or she expects to gain from the relationship ? short term and long-term.
2. Ask the mentee to identify briefly his or her perception of the roles and responsibilities of each party in the relationship.
3. Ask the mentee to list any special needs or features of the relationship that should be considered in developing the relationship.
Mentor not overreact to the mentee's expectations.
Developing A Mentor-Mentee Agreement
Formal mentoring arrangements are established, usually sanctioned by the employer, school or other agency, a mentor-mentee agreement may be helpful.
Should define how they will work together and what they hope to achieve through this association.
The goal of their agreement is to set objectives for their mutual effort. A tentative agreement, subject to change asrequired. It is mutual, both parties should benefit in satisfaction and happiness.
Post updated on: Sep 11, 2021 9:39:03 PM
Offers of easy money are nothing but attempts to enroll money mules to launder ill-gotten wealth
By Saiyid Safdar Abbas Zaidi
The next time you are offered a handsome income for easy work or an attractive commission on a banking transaction, don't fall for the bait. You could become an unwitting accomplice in a sophisticated financial crime. Criminal syndicates are forever searching for people whose bank accounts can be used to launder their ill-gotten money. Their target: low-income earners looking to supplement their income, students wanting to earn pocket money and retirees and housewives not conversant with the new tricks of the financial underworld.
Known as money mules, these people are lured by work-from-home job offers, lucrative commissions and freelancing opportunities through e-mails, media ads and job portals. The fraudsters ask for bank details and transfer money into the person's bank account. He is offered a hefty commission which can be as high as XX% of the transferred amount. The money mule is then directed to transfer the money to another money mule's account, starting a chain that ultimately results in the money getting transferred to the criminal's account.
The victim does not suspect anything because there is very little money of his own in the account and he earns a fat commission by doing virtually nothing. In reality, the criminals used his bank as a transit account so that their own financial footprint was not visible. Money mulling is illegal and one can get into big trouble if caught. In most cases, the money being transferred is illegal so the money mule is guilty of collaborating with criminals. One can't get away even if one is an innocent accomplice in the racket because ignorance is not a defense.
Experts say that the lure of big money causes money mules to turn a blind eye to the risks and the illegality of the deal. If someone is offered 2-3% of a large sum running into thousands of dollars for just lending his bank account, he may not want to consider the pitfalls of the arrangement. But sophisticated financial forensics can trace the money mules and bring them to book. Their bank accounts get suspended, their credit scores fall off the cliff and they can even be put in jail for collaborating in criminal activity.
How can one avoid becoming a money mule?
Most banks have posted anti-fraud guidelines for customers. Here are a few basic precautions one should take. Do not respond to emails asking for your bank account details. Verify the background of a company that offers a job. Don't just go by the mobile number. Check the landline number, postal address, email ID and website of the company.
Be especially wary of overseas job offers: it will be harder to find out if they are legitimate. Avoid companies and individuals asking to carry out international transactions for them using your bank account. Don?t get carried away by attractive offers/commissions or consent to receive unauthorized money.
Be very cautious of opportunities to make easy money. Also, advertisements written in poor English with grammatical errors and spelling mistakes is an obvious red flag. Money mule advertisements can be in different forms and may even clone a genuine company's website to make the scam seem authentic. They seek an "-Indian representatives" or "agents" to act on their behalf to avoid high transaction charges or local taxes. In reality they are seeking a money mule to launder money.
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Post updated on: Sep 11, 2021 9:35:55 PM
Ninety-nine percent of all failures come from people who have a habit of making excuses. ― George Washington Carver (professor and author)
We are so conditioned that we always blame something other than ourselves for our non-performance or failures. Do we blame our parents, our bosses, our friends, our co-workers, our spouse, our children, the weather, the economy, the government, our astrological chart, our bad luck, our lack of money, anyone or anything we can pin the blame on. We never want to look at where the real problem is, i.e. ourselves. Making excuses is a trait of non-achievers. A very devastating trait indeed. Non-achievers will always try to find excuses and blame others, circumstances, and events for their shortcomings.
If you really want to realize the dreams of your life and achieve those things that are most important to you, then you must take 100% responsibility for what you do. Nothing less than that will do. It would mean giving up all your Excuses, all your blaming of outside circumstances, all your victim stories, and all the reasons for not being able to achieve so far, all that you wanted to achieve. Stay away from these excuses. They are toxic and make success impossible` Push past all toxic excuses As Mark Twain (American Writer)has said- There are a thousand excuses for failure but never a good reason.? -
These Excuses are like deadening thought disease, a term used by David Schwartz, author of the Magic of Thinking Big. We fail and we start finding excuses. Every failure has the disease of "Excuses"
If you are thinking of yourself to achieve success, get vaccinated against the disease of failure i.e. excuses. Don't let the ghosts of excuses haunt you. Exorcise them. Nip the nettle of excuses.
Stop making excuses. It is the first principle of success. No more excuses. Either you do it or don't do it, but don't make excuses. It is only the losers who do it
Know your worth. One who does not know his worth is ruined. Never think about what you don't have. Focus on what you do have--and more importantly, what you are willing to do that other are not. That is your true gift. You just have to use it.
Learning points
- Never make excuses ,your friends won't need them and your foes won't believe them
- Excuses are thought Disease, avoid them
Note: This topic has been dealt with in detail with examples in my book Failure is a knock on the door of success
.
Post updated on: Sep 11, 2021 9:35:37 PM
Keep avoiding failure is the universally acknowledged wise counsel people have always been receiving. I recall my father commenting to me, Do your homework or you're going to fail! If you fail, you'll be left behind,study ,Study else you won't pass or If you fail, people will think you're stupid and incompetent. This is the start of fear of failure getting sown in. We are asked to chase success but never told how to tackle our failure. This focused emphasis on success leads to stress that we find difficult to cope with.
Failure has always been viewed as a sign of incompetence, an object of ridicule and carelessness. However failure happens to everyone. It is a very powerful ingredient to success. No one likes to fail but it has been observed that those who fail often come back and win .Every chance of failure is offset by the chance of success. Failure is the pillar of and roadway to success. Failure is a lure to success; it is neither incompetence nor an indignity. It is a trigger to continue not to give up.
Success is something almost everyone wants; there is nothing wrong in it. Deep down every one wants to be successful. Many of us are not clear about what success means. What exactly is success How can it be defined And what it means to be successful in personal and professional life? These are some of the fundamental questions each and every one of us is continuously struggling to find answer to. . We live in a world that has a lot of predefined notions of success .We are supposed to study hard ,get good grades, find job in a top notch organization ,and what not. The list is endless. These Societal expectations are suffocating and stress igniters. They create tremendous pressures and act like straitjackets. Such pressures restrain and stifle creativity.
It is really very depressing to observe that our society shows harsh images of success and failure. We should always WIN is the mantra they prescribe. If we lose we are doomed. It is the culture of conformity. Its mantra is to go along to get along. Its prescribed standards are stringent. One should not get terrorized and frozen by such standards. This single track success driven approach creates stress and tensions that one may find difficult to handle. What needs to be emphatically highlighted is that successful people are those who accept and embrace failure without making excuses and move ahead to plan out the next move.
It must be kept in mind and understood that Success is a journey. It is a continuous process. The road leading to success will not always be smooth. This journey will not always provide unending continual joy. There will be difficulties, setbacks, obstacles and roadblocks. There will be moments where you start questioning your commitment. These will emerge irrespective whether you are on the right path or the wrong path. So you should recognize that while it might be hard sometimes, you will need to make an effort to re-establish and reconnect with those positive vibes you felt when you started moving towards your desired goal.
There is no magic potion that energies and makes people successful. It is for you to define what success means to you. You cannot have success if you do not know what it means for you. Everyone has his own view of success .It differs from person to person... True success comes from achieving what you desire and plan to achieve.
It is observed that every success story starts with an embarrassing first effort resulting in a setback. It's these initial discouraging setbacks on the road to fame and fortune that fascinates and baffles many. Failure occurs every day, in every spheres of life. It is unavoidable. It is irritating and frustrating. It causes pessimism but is certain to happen.
Accept this reality.
Post updated on: Sep 10, 2021 10:36:14 PM
Scientists at Northwestern University's Kellogg School of Management have established a causal relationship between failure and future success. Researchers found that failure early in one's career leads to greater success in the long term for those who try again, those who stick it out, on average, perform much better in the long term, suggesting that if it doesn't kill you, it really does make you stronger, thus proving right the German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche's adage that 'what does not kill me makes me stronger.'
The study, captioned 'Early-career setback and future career impact,' was published in Nature Communications.
Lead author Yang Wang said, 'The attrition rate does increase for those who fail early in their careers. But those who stick it out, on average, perform much better in the long term, suggesting that if it doesn't kill you, it does make you stronger.'
Dashun Wang, corresponding author and associate professor of management and organizations at Kellogg said, 'There is value in failure. We have just begun expanding this research into a broader domain and are seeing promising signals of similar effects in other fields.'
Post updated on: Sep 5, 2021 1:26:14 AM
What is Money Laundering?
IT is The process used to disguise the source of money or assets derived from criminal activity.
What is Anti-Money Laundering
The term Anti Money Laundering refers to the variety of measures put in place to combat this illegal activity and to prevent criminals from using banks and financial institutions as the conduit for their Proceeds of Crime.
In all major jurisdictions around the world, criminal legislation and regulation make it mandatory for banks and financial institutions to have policies/systems and procedures to combat Money Laundering, Non-compliance entails harsh criminal penalties.
What are the processes of crime?
Proceeds of crime mean any property derived or obtained, directly or indirectly, by any person as a result of criminal activity relating to a scheduled offense or the value of any such property
How is it done?
Illegal Money is put through a cycle of transactions so that it comes
out the other end as legal or clean money.
Why Is It Done?
The rationale is to legitimize illegally obtained income
Post updated on: Sep 5, 2021 1:23:28 AM
The doves of peace circle overhead. Someone knocks at the door of opportunity. The vagaries of life confuse and befuddle people. A lonesome thought seeks company.
On the periphery of expectation, a long queue waits. The sun is like a giant orb of ice. When moments have time, we are busy and when we have time, moments are busy. The wall in front of me is more expressive today.
Sometimes abstractedness appeals to us while sometimes we become abstract. When nature is in its elements, then even the dry twigs sing and dance.
There is a miraculous power within us that we have forgotten about. The horizon is only a mirage. We set our own boundaries; some of us limit ourselves, some go beyond the limitless.
Nowhere is also somewhere but we focus only on the 'no' and not on the 'where'. Whichever way we look at the sky, it always appears vast. A strange bird pecks in my veranda. It is as colorful as the rainbow in my heart.
The other birds watch it in complete fascination and then in an unusual turn of events, they gather around it and drive it away.
The wall assumes a more animated expression.
NZ
Post updated on: Sep 5, 2021 1:20:25 AM
The moon whimpers and the sky sulks. It's an evening of gloom and despair. But a lone twinkling star on the horizon offers hope. Even though there is deep silence, nature recites a poem. I listen avidly and hum a tune that makes my heart sing.
Somewhere from the distance the sound of betrayal can be heard. Has another Brutus arrived on the scene? Glory belongs only to God. If today you are hunted, tomorrow you can become the hunter. The predator is someone's prey. That's the law.
Some moments are too precious to be lost while some moments linger a long while. The tree that is evergreen will shed all its leaves. There is never a dull moment when Time is in its elements.
Sometimes logic takes a backseat. But the driver's seat is the hot seat. The windscreen is the window through which he sees his destiny. If I have a hundred bucks I can give to whomever I like. It is purely my prerogative and no law can put a restriction.
We chase shadows when we should be pursuing dreams. Life and office are the same. Both throw up something exciting every day. As I glance outside, I can see the solitary star sparkling away to glory. But as I said glory belongs only to God.
NZ
Post updated on: Aug 31, 2021 10:06:44 PM
I see the vagrant sky wherever I go. The mind is cool as a cucumber. We have to take things in our stride. Every time things can't happen the way we want. Lonely, loneliness, and a thoughtful nest in the mind, I am not what I am feeling now. Sometimes your heart gets pierced by an action or a word. When the mangoes are ripe, it's better to eat them.
Rosy dreams can turn into thorny nightmares. Telling rosary isn't enough. The heart should be clear as crystal before you prostrate. When the moon leans towards you, you can either hug it or go away from it. Hope is far away when you are surrounded by negative energy.
Sometimes in a gathering you feel alone. Detachment is inspirational when you are not overly reliant on it. Before time dies, live. The great poet Lord Tennyson sang ?it is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.? Hail Mary, Hail Jesus, the homecoming of any hero should be celebrated.
When the shepherd really cried wolf, no one ran to his rescue. We can fool people only sometimes. I am out in the open but the soul doesn't want to come out of closed door. We think when we should be acting and we act when we should be thinking. We are Hamlet when we should be Othello and Othello when we should be Hamlet.
NZ
Post updated on: Aug 31, 2021 10:06:09 PM
You are special and unique-your Uniqueness defines your personality and projects what you are. Every human being in this world is exceptional and distinctive.
It is the unique combination of circumstances and your own inner strength and resilience that shape your characters. Resilience is the ability to bounce back from the setback inflicted. And then cultivating the temperament to stay focused, the biggest stumbling block in the path of happiness and success is your own self. Ego, hubris, cockiness and doggedness reside in the SELF and keep you from learning life lessons. You are good in your own unique ways.
Your dashed desires take the shape of a scarecrow and stand with arms outstretched in the field of nowhere. This shouldn't mean that you should stop having desires. Though what are desires but yearnings and cravings for what we don't have (either had and lost or never had)? Life is a train that stops at all stations but we are always caught napping when the station of our choice comes. Missed opportunities sometimes sting like a scorpion.
Agreeing with someone over something doesn't mean that you relinquish your view. The big picture should never be compromised for a small canvas. Losing a thousand small battles is any day better than losing a major war. You are the captain of your will and no one can take that status away from you.
Prophet ascended to heaven from earth. Jonah was regurgitated by the whale. Moses split the Red Sea. Christ rose from the dead. The Mahdi will emerge from behind the curtain. When man attains perfection, then, a whole new world of possibilities opens up. Miracles happen when you start believing in yourself.
We are all unique and we all have our own peculiarities. Sometimes we are like the horse and sometimes like the ass. Sometimes we soar like the eagle while at other times we scurry away like the chicken. Man is the strangest of all creatures.
(Note-Man : Includes woman also-keep this in mind while reading this)
Post updated on: Aug 31, 2021 10:05:20 PM
Do you want to know who you are? Don't ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you. Thomas Jefferson (third president of the United States)
You need to know yourself. This is the foundation that will keep you motivated to transform. Define who you are. Refine your personality. Get to know yourself, evaluate your strength and weaknesses with objectivity. Even as your confidence grows, continue focusing on your weaknesses and on ways to overcome them. . You have the capacity to be what you desire to be. You have within you the talents that have remained un-utilised. Your job is to identify that talent and then use it to get the most of yourself.
Take Time to know yourself
Know your goals, your needs, your morals and what you love. Fix your standards as to what you will not tolerate and what you are willing to die for. It in totality defines who you are. Don?t be obsessed with being number one all the times ----sometimes not being number one gives you the incentive and the courage to fight harder. It is motivating. Have patience. Have grace .Be secure enough in yourself to base your success on personal growth
Qualities like integrity, humility .character may sound stale, trite, hackneyed and having lost originality but no matter how old you are, these are the qualities and values that never go out of vogue.
Have faith in yourself and your ability to figure out what works for you and what doesn't. Make sure that you know what your weaknesses are and take steps to correct them. Remain in the domain of the ethical values that you cherish. He who does not know his own worth is ruined. You should know what your worth is .Your worth is your real strength. Guard it religiously. Don't let it slip down.
Key Takeaways
- Be true to yourself
- Evaluate your strength and weakness to know yourself
- Focus on your weaknesses and find ways to overcome them.
- Remain committed to ethical values that you cherish
- Know and accept yourself.
- The starting point of discovering who you are, what your dreams are is being comfortable with your self
Post updated on: Aug 31, 2021 10:04:29 PM
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