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Well, often, when I ask my students, " What is Success to you? " . The usual answer is ," Mam, Lot of money, good life, good lifestyle, Owning a Mercedes Benz, Big House and the list is on and on....Really?  How do you define good life? And to my surprise, they don't even know the meaning of happiness!! the difference between pleasure and happiness. May I ask you," Do you know? Is it so difficult to be happy? Actually, it's very simple. We are so lost in our own world's, the so called race of life. when actually, life has never been a race. Like the different fingers in our hands, each one of us are unique in ourselves and have their own journey!!  " A self satisfied life is much better than a successful life because success is measured by others , but satisfaction is measured by your soul. A successful person may or may not be happy but a happy person will always be successful and satisfied. Life has a different exam for everyone which cannot be copied .To me, Success is ," To aim to become a better version of myself  each day, on the path of my journey, following my passions, soul mission and convictions!! "






So, again here, at an event organized by an International NGO, Where I had given a session on Interview skills to about 150 girls Alumini students from different schools and colleges, one student defined success as Lot of money!! So, to say,, All of us are Energies and even Money is also an Energy , which is meant to flow.




Like always, it is a beautiful feeling, when some of the students came to me after the session and shared that, Mam, I was so nervous before my Mock Interview with you but now I feel much better and so confident, I have learnt a lot from you today. Thank you so much, Mam!!" Now, this feeling of peace and happiness where I am able to make a positive change in someone's life, That's real happiness, and the purpose of my life. The mission of my life. What you leave behind is how many faces smile when they hear your name and remember you , Your words , your deeds is what matters ultimately. Be a good human being and Be happy always!!

Keep reading for more!! Do share your thoughts as well, I would love to read.


Stay safe, Stay blessed and stay happy always!!
Shalini


Shalini  posted in My diary

Post updated on:  Nov 28, 2022 7:27:07 PM

Some of my Experiences and Learnings!!

Well, I just love this festival because so much of lights around, killing the darkness, light reaches everywhere, as if Universe is showering it's  blessings on all of us. After 2 long years of waiting, this Diwali had a very mixed feeling, as some of my friends had lost their closed ones unfortunately, so they could not celebrate and some others celebrated very well with a lot of happiness and smile on their face. As if life was slowly finally coming back to normal like old times. It was so good and beautiful to see light everywhere around in a series like always. As there is light after the tunnel and the tunnel was finally over .

An old friend of mine visited my place, after long 5 years and we cherished childhood memories and created some more beautiful ones. Good to feel that some things don't change and should not change. An old shopkeeper near my place, I used to visit often to buy some stuff, he was still there selling similar stuff. And he didn't forget me and recognized me, asking if I am fine and all well. 

Same time, all of us light Diyas in the evening, so we see series of light everywhere killing the darkness. But what about the darkness in our hearts? Have we ever thought about it? What do we learn from Diwali?




Here are some of my learnings-

* Liberate ourselves from all the negative memories of the past.
* Forgiving everybody who has hurt us in any form and fill our hearts with love and peace. 
* Kindness- A small act of polite words, kindness, humanity can go a long way. It might just change some one's life 
* Happiness- Happiness within ourselves and spreading it too.
* Unity in diversity.
* Liberating ourselves from all the negative feelings in our hearts like Ego, Jealousy and fill our hearts with lots of positivity, hope and faith.

Let's ignite that light within us and keep it alive always!!

Hope all of you had a great Diwali full of beautiful memories like me. Do share your experiences and learnings with me, I would love to read.

Keep reading for more!! 

Stay safe, stay blessed and stay happy always!!

Shalini  posted in Festival

Post updated on:  Nov 4, 2022 9:55:02 PM

Well !! Well !! Well !! Festival time and I just love festivals so much. I am sure, you all,  also do love them, as I do. It brings so much positivity, brightness, bonds and what not in our lives, the list is endless. And, this time was more special as it has come after a long wait of 2 years, it felt soooo nice to see old days back- Pandaals, Jhulaas, Mela, sweets, different dishes, all of it which we have grown with it. So, let me share some of my experiences and some beautiful memories, I had this time with you.

I was looking at all the stalls at one of the Pandaals , I visited,  I saw a stall by the name of Bhaalo bytes, seemed to me , as the stall must be selling some different Bengali dishes. Though, I didn't know and understand all of it but it again reminded me of beautiful memories, I had with my old Bengali best friend. He often used to bring home made Bengali dishes for me like paatty sapto, puran poli, and I used to love it so much. I immediately asked Uncle at the stall," Do you have Paaatty sapto? I would love to have it...My friend used to bring it for me , but now for last 5 years he is in the sky, though he still walks with me. ". He said," hmm ok!! Sorry to know this.... We don't have Paaatty sapto here as it takes a lot of time to make it but we do have it in our regular shop nearby".



I said," hmm ok !! I will surely come someday soon to have it. " Then he offered me some of his dishes like Malai Chamcham, Maalpua. I got some packed but to my surprise, he didn't charge me for the dishes he offered me to taste.  Then he said, " you can put your mobile number in that box, we will wats app our special dish for the day, Just one disturbance daily with a smile

🙂". Though, usually shopkeepers do ask their  customers to share their number with them but the way he asked, made me smile too. As I do avoid sharing my number like this and getting such msgs daily, his warm and heartfelt way was so different that we didnt mind. You know some experiences are such that they do make a nice mark in your heart. In todays time, when everything is so practical, calculative,  sales oriented, business oriented or too mechanical or with a motive only, I was really happy to see that somewhere, we still have that personal touch, that human touch, that generosity, that humbleness, that hospitality, alive.. If you ask me, I still love having food on that 'kele ka patta' . I really feel such festivity does connect us more and develop better human bonds which we do forget in our daily fast lives.
So, to say, have you ever observed, when we dance somewhere in a function , gathering or a party, we are so engrossed in dancing that we are even dancing with some strangers, and you never know when those strangers become your friends. If we open our hearts a little more often and keep that playful and happy child alive in us, we can see life with sparkling shining eyes. And the world around looks more beautiful!!

Do you also have any such experience where you found that heartfelt human touch or any stranger became your friend enjoying together or any such beautiful memory? Do share with me, I would love to read.

Keep reading for more!!

Stay safe, stay blessed and stay happy always!!

Shalini

Post updated on:  Oct 13, 2022 5:51:10 PM

What the next moment will bring to us, nobody knows and that's life!! Count your blessings, cherish what you have  and give gratitude!!

Well, think of it, time is same in the clock, but different for each one of us and that's how life is!! This reminds me of a student  who was recently sharing his childhood days with us in the class. He is a blessed child and why I say this, when he narrated his whole story with us. Actually, when he was born, he was so weak, as he was a pre-  mature child, and he could survive after a lot of struggle and till date he takes regular medications as nobody knows when he might get a fit and faint. And to add more here, and to everybody's surprise, he was so cool about it when he was sharing this with everybody with so much humor. He has been a very naughty child. At the age of only, 18years, he was so brave and courageous.  Laughingly, and jokingly, he said in the class, " guys , main yahan abhi next moment faint ho jaun, toh mujhe utha lena pls!!" Everyone  laughed too. He is a very brilliant student. And, yes, this shows that if you are mentally and emotionally strong, you can do anything, it's all in the mind, we want to see glass half full or half empty!! And the learning for all of us from him, is, we just cant control what life throws on us, but it's really upto us, whether we respond to it with a smile or tears in our eyes !! And if we don't give up and come out of that pain, we are definite stronger!! 

Watch "Breast Cancer Patient Dances Her Way to the Operating Room" on YouTube




Some people really know how to live their life to the fullest and become inspiration for many. They just have this zjndadili in them which just cant be explained in words, like this lady in the video doesn't know whether she will survive or not, she is not even thinking of the pain, she is just cherishing each moment of her life!!  Actually, to add here, I was thinking and wishing, what if really, some day our hospitals get so lively, I am sure, many patients will get well soon if the environment becomes such, playing music there!!  Laughter and joyous therapies. 

Sach mein, kuch log jeena sikha jaate hain!! They just flow with life with a smile on their face!!

Will share more of my thoughts in my next article. Keep reading for more!!

Stay safe, stay blessed and keep smiling!!

My best wishes always!!

Shalini

Post updated on:  Jun 4, 2022 6:08:58 PM

Well, Covid!! Covid!! Covid !!  Every now and then we hear this word, in conversation with someone or around us or in news....Ohhhhh God!! Sometimes you really want to take a deep breath and want  to say," Enough now pls leave us and go away. We really want to have our normal lives back!! "..
I have 15 mins conversation with my mom on Covid updates daily at night when we talk and it has become a ritual actually. All of our lives have  become so uncertain and unpredictable these days,  when we feel that ...ohhhh...nice, it has started moving after a long hault, then suddenly lockdowns, one after the other. Life has got so imbalanced but to think of it, that's how the nature of life is, uncertainty and change everytime and always. And one major change - Work from home!!! 

Again, thanks to the technology, when all of us were  zapped because we just could not step out of our homes to the office because of Covid leading to lockdown, the only solution to go on with life and survive was work from home. And technology really helped us a lot in this major change and transformation in our lives. Well, now in 2 years, all of us have got so used to this , so called, ^  new work from home culture".  What's more to this is, many companies have starred setting up their offices at home saving the huge cost of infrastructure and the travelling cost of all the employees and saving the time too. The flexibility of work from home for employees and the companies has really made life so much better for everyone, where both also have more choice these days of choosing various options like, now many people from pan India can apply for the same role in different companies vis a vis companies also have more choice of employees pan india.

But, yet, not to ignore the challenges  as increasing physical and mental health Issues due to constant working on phone and laptop for longer hours and no social life. You are less connected to the nature and hardly any exercise regime and discipline.

And what's more is, it's so difficult to monitor the employees from home which is really a huge challenge for a company these days , which are still struggling to find a mechanism to monitor and motivate their employees working from home.

To share my experience here, one of my clients faced a real challenge with its employee who was not sincere at all , not working at all, and despite of so many efforts and time invested, in her,,they had to lay her off finally, which was still a tough decision for the company but it was becoming a liability.

A recent report has shown , work from home and online is the future, where you see , not even offices but the whole education system had to be shifted online.

Watch "DNA : ब्रिटेन में हटी कोरोना पाबंदी अब No मास्क No वर्क फ्रॉम होम! | News Analysis |Sudhir Chaudhary" on YouTube.






But I really feel, life should always be a balance. Even if we are moving towards virtual world, but we just cant ignore the importance of real world, so to say, may be, we should have 3 days office and 3 days work from home. The office environment  and discipline is also important at the same time.

What do you think? Do you agree with me? Type yes, if you do.
And do share your thoughts on the transformation all of us are going through in the comment section below.

I will share more of my thoughts and experiences on this in my next article.

Keep reading for more.

Stay safe, stay blessed and stay happy always!!


Shalini  posted in My diary

Post updated on:  Feb 14, 2022 10:25:54 PM

Valentine's Day!! Lovers Day!! 
Rise in Love, Not fall in Love!! 
LOVE in the time of COVID as  LOVID!!

Well, I happened to speak to one of my students today and she excitingly asked me, Mam," What did you do today? " I said,," I was working as usual, Why? What is so special about today? You seem to be so happy!!" 
She replied," Arey, its Valentines day today!! You dont remember? 

I said," so, For lovers, each day, each moment is special and valentine's day and for true friends, each day and each moment is friendship day!!"" I believe

She said," Ok !! Ok!! It was my first special valentine's day today. I am very happy. 
I said," Good to know!! I am very happy for you!!
Actually,  she had met her special friend last year, accidentally or actually destined , on a metro station. The boy has been born in an orphan and works in army. A very cute love story and I hope and wish it lasts forever. Whenever I see such rare love stories in reality, I feel so happy that love is still alive.
After I finished the call with her, her conversation reminded me of another student who was also eagerly waiting for today, till 2 months back but who knew  that something like this will happen with her. She is a child being raised by a single parent and had lost her father long back in her childhood days. She is 22 years now having immense trust and only 2 important people in her life - one as her mother and another one as her fiance, who she has been in a loving relationship for last 5 years. Sadly, 2 months back, she got to know that he has been cheating on her. She was shattered, and was hospitalized.  The doctor said, that she has a lot of stress and its first stage of severe depression as anxiety attack. Nobody in her family knew about it, her mother was wondering, what happened to her suddenly? What stress she has? 

She confided in me, cried a lot in front of me, and kept on saying again and again,," it's all my fault ,Mam, I should not have trusted him so much. It's all my fault. I am also afraid as he is threatening me as nobody knows in my family. I am from a small town and everybody will blame me  for all this.

Is it really her fault? Why does a girl has to carry all the burden of guilt and moral responsibility of everything on her shoulders all the time? What conditioning and programming our society gives to girls? I came out of this conditioning long back and I could relate so well with her. And is this really love? What kind of love is this? Real love is sacred!! Its sacrifice!!  It uplifts you, it never gets you down, it always builds you, it changes you and your life, makes you a much better person!! Love without respect and trust is nothing.

If we look at the history, love is Radha, Love is Meera!! There was a time when people like laila Majnu, Sheerii farhaad sacrificed their lives for the sake of each others happiness. 

Another young boy, 28 years old in love with 10 years older woman to him. I had counselled him as he was in depression because this woman refused to marry him because of the age gap after the relationship of 3 years. She felt and realised that he will regret his decision later in life as she will grow old faster than him and also, she wont be able to bear children and give him a normal family.

Set the bird of love free!! If it comes back to you, it's yours!! If it doesnt, it was never yours!! 

True love chooses very few and is destined!! It's a deep heart and soul connection!!

We still see some people as examples of true love in our life-  the beloved of late Captain Mr Vikram Batra who died fighting on the front, ( movie - Shershah) has not married to anyone else. That's her intensity,  sanctity and commitment of love!! Love is immortal 

Capt. Vikram Batra Girlfriend Dimple Cheema: Know the real love story of ?Shershah?, played by Sidharth Malhotra and Kiara Advani

Lataji could not marry the only  love of her life and was unmarried whole life!! 


Mohabbat pehli ya dusri nahi hoti, ya toh adhoori hoti hai ya aakhiri hoti hai, par sachchi zindgi mein sirf ek baar hoti hai, kismat se hoti hai, zindgi badal deti hai, mil jaaye tab bhi aur na mile tab bhi!!

To all the youth of today and future generation, I just want to say that its important to love yourself first,  find happiness within yourself first, find fulfillment within yourself first, Become love first!! Then only you can spread love and make others happy!! True love is unconditional,  selfless and a responsibility!! It finds you when and if its destined for you and when you are ready for it , till then walk alone and build yourself ,than getting into a wrong relationship or a wrong person who doesnt deserve you or not meant for you!! What's meant for you, will come to you, when the time will come!!

Watch "What is the Meaning of True Love?" on YouTube





Do share your thoughts in the comment section below. I would love to read.

Keep reading for more!! 

Stay safe, stay blessed and stay happy always!!


Post updated on:  Feb 14, 2022 10:23:18 PM

Saying Goodbye to our nightingale with heavy heart and heartfelt memories today!! 

Well, like my usual routine on a Sunday, I I was finishing off some household work and my Radio was on , my lifeline my music and suddenly, I hear the news - the RJ saying that our nightingale of Our country Lata Mangeshkar  has left us.  .For a moment, I could not believe it, like really, I thought, may be it's a prank or something,  I just stopped for a while, checked my phone, you tube news  and then suddenly radio started playing all the songs sung by her....I waa like .how....again thanks to corona!! I took a deep breath and was full of  tears and enough memories, many might not understand. I had a very silent, unspoken connection with her. I grew up singing many of her songs, some of them even on stage in my school and college days. She was an inspiration for me and this passion of money had always kept me going in all my tough days, high and lows of life. The artist in me always kept me alive. 

Some of my favourite songs sing by her,  which I had sung on stage were " Aye mere watan ke logo, tum khoob laga lo naara ....., Aye malika tere banded hum....beautiful prayer, Naam ghum jaayega, meri awaaz hi meri pehchaan hai......, raina berti jaaye, shyaam na aaye...,  Satyam, Shivam , Sundaram.....lag jaa gale, ki fir yeh hansen raat ho na ho..........list is ongoing and endless!!"  
Sach mein.....meri awaaz hi meri pehchaan hai!!!!

The legends are just born and she waa a legend. You know, it was always said, that at her age, she can still sing so well, after her death, the scientists would like to do a research on her throat to find out the reason. Oh God!! May her soul rest in peace pls !! such a beautiful voice she was, real nightingale of India, A huge loss to the society!!

To think of it, ek waqt har kisi ke liye kitna alag hota hai na...jahan el waqt hum apne ghar mein hote hain, wahin, usi waqt, kahin koi aur kisi mushkil se jhooth raha hota...m..kuch log itne special hote hain ki jaane ke baad bhi bahut si yaadein chod jaate hain, dil mein rehte hain!!

She will always be in my heart as one special part of my life, still inspiring me in my passion for singing. Her songs always touched my heart, her voice always touched my heart and I am sure, many of you as well.







Leaving you here for now with many heartfelt memories and heavy heart today!!

Keep reading for more!!

My best wishes for all of you always!!

Stay safe, stay blessed!!

Shalini

Shalini  posted in My diary

Post updated on:  Feb 13, 2022 1:14:22 AM

Well, I was speaking to someone known today, a young boy in the age bracket of early 30s,  and while talking, he shared with me, that I am all alone, staying alone, handling my business and household chores and it really takes a toll on me, also wastes so much of my time. So, I am thinking of getting married. 

Listening to him, I also remembered few other people mentioning same thing to me specially boys.  And to think of it, in India, marriages usually happen either out of this need, or to have kids or put of societal and family pressure.  But is it really the right reason to get married? Really? I have always believed that marriage should not happen out of any need or compulsion or age or to raise a child, it should only happen when two people want to walk together on the journey of life, come what may. They understand each other, support each other and trust each other in all odds of life and still hold on to each other out of choice and commitment because they want to and not put of any need or compulsion. Marriage is a union of two hearts, minds and souls.  

I think that's one reason, marriages are falling apart so much lately and these days or even if they are not falling apart, you see fighting couples and fighting parents.







Ofcourse, the times have changed so much from past many years, where these days, where women are equally independent, so couples are so confused in their roles and that's where the clashes also arise due to money issues, responsibility sharing, time and attention and not to forget the mist important trust issues.

There was a time, when man was born as provider and woman as a nurturer. He was supposed to go out and earn for the livelihood and woman was supposed to be only at home, follow the instructions of the man and only cook and take care of the home and children. But now, both are independent and working, so there is a lot of confusion of roles. My question is cant we share the roles together, holding each other's hands and still respecting and understanding each other?

A recent report and survey has shown that, many people are delaying their marriages or not getting married.  It also shows that, failed relationships and failed marriages are one major reason fro depression in todays times.
 







A good happy couple always raise good emotionally healthy kids which is bringing up one generation and vis a vis an unhappy couple always raise unhappy kids again spoiling one generation. So, the reason of marriage should be right

What do you think? Do share your opinion. Keep reading for more!!

Stay safe, stay blessed and stay happy always!!

Shalini  posted in My diary

Post updated on:  Jan 26, 2022 10:11:41 PM

Well, the year 2021, when it started after a long lockdown and stagnancy because of Covid 19, everyone was so hopeful, beginning of the year, so positive that after a long dark night, finally, we see a new positive stable morning....jaise sooraj ki pehli kiran itne waqt ke andhere ke baad chehre pe padi ho...and that feeling was awesome!! Things were looking better and settling, when in April, again a minor lockdown, schools, colleges, institutes were still not getting normalized. Soon we realised, may be another year of uncertainty and unstability and it will take, dont know how much time....we started getting used to work from home culture and some other things. But may be, to think of it, life was still telling us something,  kya kehna chah rahi thi humse zindgi. 2020 ne hamein zindgi mein bewajah bhaagte hue, zara thamke,  ruk ke, sochna sikhaya, jo hamaare paas hai uski kadar karna sikhaaya.....
Aur ab 2021 mein kya sikhaana chahti thi hamein zindgi? Shayad yeh ki....change is the only thing which is constant!! Life is uncertain and will always be!! It's good to plan your life , keep going but still dont forget to value what you have....dont repeat earlier mistakes.....
Sometimes going with the flow is the best thing you can do and then see some miracles happening around you!!

Toh ab mere kuch experiences and maine kya seekha,  is uncertain 2021 mein......Well, Well, Welll......shayad list thodi lambi hai....but still would love to share with you in brief......

* So, actually, you wont believe, I actually just didnt like cooking and found it so boring but had to cook regularly first out of compulsion like lot of us must be in a similar situation like me....kya karein, paapi pet ka sawaal hai na, kitne din yuhi egg bhurji, eggs and cheela- 5 mins cooking pe survive kar sakte hain...right??. And you will be surprised to know that I know how to cook almost everything but since childhood, I used to find it so boring and tedious, time consuming  job . I learnt all the cooking on my own, experimenting since my childhood days....And now, this year, what started as a compulsion, has become quite an interest now...I just switch on my favourite music, ..so with music on, gas on , little dancing, cooking us done not boring anymore....Well, when you club your passion with anything you find boring, it just works wonders and things change....I check out new recipes on you tube and try them sometimes. Even I am surprised to see this change in me......OMG.....which one is this Shalini?difficult to recognize.

I have been a person who usually plans things in advance, my day in advance, but this year has taught me to be more spontaneous, go with the flow, accept the day as it comes , the change as it comes with a whole heart and a deep breath......may be some more deep breaths, as also everyone around was also struggling like you....sabko aur sabki mushkiloen ko samajhne hue aagey bhadhna.....

* As a person, I have been so uncomfortable with technology,  quite a traditional person in this regard, believe in staying more on real world than the virtual world, but thanks to covid, when technology and virtual world was the only solution and support system, everyone had to adapt and I am no different.  The whole school, education system shifted online, so, I also learnt it hard way, starting with my online sessions and selling technology solutions also. And really, thanks to some people in my life here, who have helped and made it a bit easier to learn and go on.

* kitne rishtoen ko mushkil waqt mein kamzor hone ki wajah se bikharte hue dekha, bigadte hue dekha, badalte hue dekha, kitnoen ko Counselling aur heal karte hue raasta dikhaate hue fir aagey badhte hue dekha.....

About relationships, I would share all my life experiences, my thoughts from my diary with you in my next article
 And for now, with all my learnings, saying goodbye to all my challenges and hurtful experiences,  leaving only love and peace in my heart, want to say Goodbye to 2021. And, I want to welcome 2022 with a lot of Hopes.. and new positive beginnings for me and all of you!! Also, praying for the ones who lost their closed ones and facing a lot of challenges  ..may God give them strength and courage!!

A very Happy new Year 2022 to all of you from the core of my heart and soul!! 

Stay safe, stay blessed and stay happy always!! 

Never give up and Keep Going  on the journey of life. In the journey of life, we meet so many people and play a role in each others lives, lets end the previous one with peace in our hearts before we move on to the next one!!  Leaving you here with this thought for now!!

Keep reading for more !!

My best wishes always!!

Shalini  posted in My diary

Post updated on:  Jan 9, 2022 8:55:05 PM

I was interviewing some candidates for a project of mine, when I came across a candidate who happened to share her story with me, when I asked her about her reason of leaving the last company and why such a huge gap. She told me, " Mam, My husband had asked me to leave my job and I had to.". She has 2 girls as her kids and when I asked her that why she is looking for a job now , work from home, she told me, " Mam, my husband has left me because I have 2 girl kids and no boy as a child. He wanted only a boy as a child. My 2nd daughter is only 1 year young and she is weak enough as she is a premature baby and she needs an injection to be put  once in every fortnight. And my husband doesn't support me at all, so I really need a job to support my daughters and keep them alive." 

She had decent experience with Corporate as hr and good communication skills.  And she had really fitted well for the role, I was interviewing her, but I was really really alarmed by what she had told me....like really.....we are in 21st century and still, people really discriminate kids as a boy or a girl.

If you really think of, if girls would not be there, where would all these boys come from? 
Where is the respect for women? 
Can you really think of leaving someone only because she gave birth to a girl child?

As if she is just a machine to bear the child....don't you think its equal responsibility of both husband and wife together to nurture and protect a child? And here, what is the mistake of that child who has come to this world? What feelings and thinking she will carry in herself when she will grow up? When will all this end? We have no right to bring a child in this world, if we cant give a good life to him or her.......and where is our humanity gone? 

I was really upset, sad and disheartened listening to all this. A real man is the one who respects a woman, who is a good human being, who takes responsibility  But I think, our society is equally responsible for all this. Till the time, we don't give a good upbringing to our young boys, we don't teach them how to respect women, be good human beings, be open minded and virtuous, nothing will change.....nothing!! 

I wish and pray to see such a world , one day and I hope that day will come soon. And I hope,  all of us can make some such small changes within ourselves to make the world a better place.

Do share your thoughts with me. 

Keep reading for more!!

Post updated on:  Dec 5, 2021 10:55:43 PM

What I saw was really shocking....Ohhhhhh God, I saw someone really thrashing and beating her. I went close to her and saw many bruises and wounds on her face, hands and body. And she was crying a lot. When I asked her, what happened? She didn't say anything.

People around me told me, " Arey, madam , yeh toh roz ka hai inka.....aa jaate hain kahin se bhi kabhi bhi road pe, jaise road inke baap ki hai......saara raasta jam kar diya.....in sahab ki car ke neeche aa gayi, pareshaan kar rahi thi sabko......kitna time kharaab kar diya hamaara....isko toh koi kaam waam, dhandha kuch hai nahi......hamein toh kaam pe jaana hai......
Aur aap bhi kyu time kharaab kar rahe ho apna iske peeche.......

I said,"  Bas kariye aap sab, kitni chot lagi hai inhein......inhein hospital ley jaane ki bajaaye,  aap sab khade dekh rahe hain.....yehi insaaniyat hai aapki.....

I tried to bring her to my car and made her sit in my car and told the driver to drive towards a nearby hospital. She was still crying and crying.....and then she said to me," Mujhe toh aadat hai beti, Tu kyu pareshaan ho rahi hai mere liye.....Tera kaam hoga, tu apne kaam pe jaa, main chali jaungi..."

I said, " Aap, pls thoda relax kariye, aapko hospital ley jaana zuroori hai abhi.....Koi hai aapka ? Main unhein call kar deti hun...".

She said," Hum jaiso ka kaun hota hai beti......koi janam deta bhi hai toh yeh dekhke ki hum gay hain, pheink dete hain hamein.....har roz aise hi sadako pe rozi roti ke liye nikalte hain.....logo ki nazarein, aur gaaliyan khaate hain.....kya karein......aisi hi zindgi hai hamaari......pata nahi ...us khuda ne hamein aisa kyu banaya hai? Kya hum sach mein kisi kaam ke nahi? Log itni nafrat kyu karte hain humse? Hum bhi toh insaan hain.......humne kisi ka kya bigada hai?

I had tears in my eyes, listening to her but I was helpless, I just could not do anything, at that time apart from taking her to the hospital. I didnt have any answers to her questions...I wanted to ask these questions to God and society but I knew in my heart that I will not get any answers. I wish I could do something for her and for all such people like her, so that they are not humiliated like this ever in their lives. 

Actually, to think, what's her fault if she is like this? Why do people hate her for who she is? Is she not a human being? Does she not deserve an equal respect for being a human being? Why is she made to feel so worthless? Why? Why? I dont know why Universe has made her like this but does she really deserve such a treatment from society or such a discrimination from the society? Let's keep the humanity alive!!

This also reminded me of a student of mine........


This student of mine used to be always happy go lucky, always smiling, obedient studious and Interactive in my class. The batch got over and then I just met him once or twice when he came to me for guidance before his exam like other students do. I wished him loads of good luck and started teaching other students of difference batches then. Then after 1 year, covid 19 happened and I had started working from home and some online sessions to my students. This is when one day, I got a call from my centre owner, where I used to go. Though, he used to call me often to check my well being during covid 19, but today, his first word was," There is a bad news!!" I took a deep breath and said," pls tell me."  Then what he told me, was really sad, I had no words, I was in tears. I kept on thinking after his call ended.

He told me," Mam, that student of yours is no more. "  And when he told me the whole thing,  his whole life story, I was really shocked to know and had no words. I just kept having tears in my eyes and they were just not stopping, and thoughts and many questions in my mind were just not stopping. To tell you, he was only 18 years old, and he had a hole in his heart since his childhood.  And more to this, in his childhood,  when he was born and his parents realised that he has a hole in his heart, they threw him off from the moving train. But destiny saved him and he got into the hands of orphan. You know, sometimes,  if you think of it, very surprisingly,  what you see on movies, many times, you see and feel it happening around you, your life experience.  My mind and heart were full of so many questions and thoughts. How can a parent throw their own child from the train, just because he has a hole in his heart? Like really? I mean.....

And he was always smiling and happy in my class. 

Kuch dard us muskaan ke peeche chupe hote hain!!
Duniya mein kitna gham hai, mera gham kitna kam hai....one of my favorite and inspiring songs. Aksar hamein zindgi mein kuch aise log mil jaate hain, kuch aise pal hote hain, jo bahut kuch sikha ke jaate hain aur bahut si yaadein dey jaate hain!!!

Leaving you here now with a bit heavy heart again . May his soul rest in peace. May be , I had some connection with him in past life, so I had to meet him like this for a short while and may be his soul was needed somewhere else and his role in this life was till here only. Many questions we don't have an answer to and only the Universe and destiny knows!!

Keep reading for more!! Do share your thoughts, I would love to read.

My Best wishes always!!.

Shalini

Shalini  posted in My diary

Post updated on:  Oct 25, 2021 6:06:17 PM

This is a story of two brothers- Ram and Ravanya, who were twins ,grew up together and studied together.  People used to give example of their friendship, bond of love, understanding and trust between each other. Despite of being twins, they were very different in nature. Ram was very intelligent, wise, studious and obedient, everybody's favorite. He used to win people's hearts very soon. He was every teacher's favorite. And Ravanya was totally opposite to him, naughty, stubborn, child like immature.

Ram always used to help Ravanya in his studies, making notes for him. Ram used to excel in studies and used to save Ravanya from everyone's scolding as being his elderly brother.




It went on like this for many years and they entered college, and Ravanya's behavior was becoming a concern for everyone. But nobody could tell about this to Ram. Everyone knew that Ram loves his brother Ravanya very much and would be hurt. But one day, Ram was shocked when he was called in the principal's office urgently. When he entered the room, he was surprised to see Ravanya also there as he could gauge that something is wrong but he he never thought that it could be such a case. 

Principal- Ram, I have to tell this to you today and I just don't know how to tell you this......Ohhhhh God, Almighty,  pls give me strength!! Both of you are twins, look alike but poles apart. I have no words today, Ram.
.
Ram-  Sir,   pls tell me...what has happened? What's the matter? Why is the police here? And why is Saloni here? She is injured...why is she crying? ..Ravanya is also injured.....why is everyone so silent? Can anybody pls tell me , what has happened? Ohhhh.....ravanya, my brother...tell me, what has happened? Kya hua hai?

Ravanya-  Bhai, see....dekho na.....these people are blaming me for everything....they have scolded me so much ...I have not done anything.....its a conspiracy against me.....they are jealous of me...they are jealous of our love....dont listen to them...Bhai.

Principal-  Ram, I can't be silent anymore....its the reputation of my college. Ravanya is caught red handed taking drugs with his friends. And above that, when Saloni reported about him, he misbehaved with her. He has even tried to abuse and molest her.

Ravanya-  Bhai.....Bhai....Listen to me.....Trust me......A ahhhhhh......Bhai....they have beaten me so much.....its paining bhai.....trust me....I have not done anything.....everybody is lying........

Ram-  Sir, I apologize on his behalf. Pls leave him this last time. I assure you, it will never happen again.

Principal-  I am giving him a last chance because of you else I was about to rest I care him. But he cant be in our college anymore. I cant help it. I will have to take some action against him.

Ram- Ravanya!! Come home with me.....I have to speak to you....

Ravanya-  Bhai!! Bro!! You are not trusting me? You are not listening to me? Kya hua? Bhai.....woh saara pyaar ....woh sab trust ,ek pal mein sab khatm.......you are trusting others....and not me.....I knew you were always jealous of me.....Maa also loved you more.. ..I am always bad.....good for nothing......Everybody loves you.....Ram ...Ram...Ram.....you are everybody's favourite......sab kuch aapke kehne se hota hai.....saari duniya aapki baat maanegi......what the hell you think of yourself? I am not your slave like others....Now, I will show you and everybody who Ravanya is......just wait and watch!!!

Ram-   Tu abhi gusse mein hai......come home with me.......

Ravanya- No, ...leave me.....I am not coming with you anywhere .. ..just leave me and go from here.....

2 days have gone......1 week has gone......1 month has gone....Ram kept finding him and waiting for him.....but Ravanya never returned home.....

After many years, Ram sees a 
news in the newspaper as a headline.. thousands of people have died in just 2 days in all the hospitals.  Ram, being an IPS officer started finding the details about it. Many doctors were questioned and then finally, all the medicines were tested again in the lab and it was found that the medicines had an over dose of harmful drugs in them.

To Ram's surprise,  all these medicines were supplied by one company  and shockingly, the owner of the company was none other but Ravanya!!

For one moment, Ram didn't know whether he should be happy to know that after so many years, finally he has found his long lost brother or he should be sad to find that what he has become and he has to finally arrest him and punish him......Ohhh God.......pls give me strength.....Ram said to himself!!

Finally, Ram met Ravanya.....

Ram- Kyu kiya tu ne aisa? Kya kami reh gayi thi mere pyaar mein? Tu mujhse jo maangta, main tujhe hamesha deta......fir kyu?

Ravanya-  Ohh Bhai!! Bro.....yeh dikhawa...yeh naaatak band karo apna......maine dikha diya aaj ....ki main ek pal mein duniya hila sakta hun.....I am powerful more than you........ha ha!! I can shake the world in just a second......I have that power in me.....you will not be able to catch me today also....I am so powerful......see........

Ram-  Tu negativity, jealousy, hatred, ego .....in sab mein andha ho gaya hai.....tujheckuch dikhayi nahi dey raha hai....tu aaj kahan paunch gaya hai.....

Ram closes his eyes, with tears in his eyes, shoots Ravanya......Aaaahhhhhhhh!!!

Ram-  Tu chahta toh kya kuch kar sakta tha......tu kab bhatak gaya...galat raaste pe chal pada......kaash tu apne andar ki shakti ko sahi se pehchaan paata.....hum dono ek se the......fir bhi tu ne apni zindgi ke raaste ko kitna alag bana liya.....galat raaste ka anjaam toh galat hi hota hai mere bhai.......that's law of karma!!

Ram( the good ) is also in us and Ravana ( the evil ) is also in us, its upto us, who we give more importance to...and that becomes our destiny.....Law of Karma!!


Let's make a promise to ourselves today, that we will try to remove all the negativity and evil from our hearts and mind and will fill it with love, hope, faith and positivity. We will always walk on the righteous path with wisdom.
May Universe bless all of you !! 
Happy Dusshera!!


Keep reading for more!! And do write your thoughts to me. I would love to read.

My best wishes always!!

Shalini


Shalini  posted in Stories

Post updated on:  Oct 14, 2021 12:46:37 AM

18th Aug, 2021
I want to share my life experiences, thoughts and feelings  here with you, from my diary. Hope you connect and relate with me, my thoughts and feelings. 

While I was interacting with one of my students today while giving her, the session and I told her to write and express her thoughts and feelings about friendship. She said, " I don't know, because I have never had any such friend , though I do have my room mates or school mates but nobody like ,whom I can call as really my friend". Then I asked her, " what is friendship to you?  And she answered," the one with whom, I can just be myself, I can lay my head on his / her shoulder, who is always there for me and stands by me against all odds and always understands me." 

After listening this from her, I realized that friendship is actually like this, and to me as well. As it is said, " A friend in need is a friend indeed!!" . Friendship is actually sharing, caring and beating. And in today's world, you are really lucky if you have one such friend. Well, this took me in my thoughts and memories way back, all the people who walked with me in my life till now.  Some different types of friends, some walked with me in the journey of my life for a short period and very few till now. Like her, I also didn't have any friend in my school days. Only after my college, when I started working, I had met my bestie on a bus stand, when he was only an acquaintance to me, then. My bestie, My angel, my brother, my guide.... You don't find such a friend, such  a selfless friend these days.15 years long, he walked with me till he was alive. I was soooooo myself with him and only with him and none other. 
Looking back, flipping some chapters of my life, I had many different types of friends.. I have one as my spiritual level friend, where we talk about spirituality or just a good morning friend and we wish each other Good morning daily for last 7 years on wats app and I am so used to her morning wishing lovely quotes. She wishes me good morning daily with her lovely quotes......everyone teaches something  and is an experience. And then, I have one as my waving friend, wherein we just wave our hands to each other from our balconies with a smile whenever we come on same time and then, I have one as my coffee friend .....just a coffee friend.....where we sometimes just share some life experiences over a cup of coffee. It's so unconditional and beautiful. Beautiful connections!!

All these are memories with so many different types of friends and feelings....but surprisinglly these days....everything is so shallow....you judge your friend  or just a fight over petty materialistic things like money.......people associate with you with a motive, so mean...and they call it as friendship...woh kehte hain na....matlab ke yaar...that's how it is these days sadly.....very rightly said.....friends made in school or college are selfless when your hearts meet. 

Friendship or any relationship without, trust, respect and understanding,  having only bond doesn't long last and dies it's own death.....

I had a friend in my childhood days, when I was really a kid. I used to stay in Lucknow in a rented place with my family as my dad was transferred and we had shifted there. This friend of mine was the child of our landlord and we used to play together. What I remember , is he was very sweet and caring and I used to have so much fun with him but it was so short-lived, the way you see in films, my father got transferred again and we had to leave. Later on, my mother told me that he had a hole in his heart. We never met after that day and till date  I wish I could meet him someday. I hope he is fine. 

Then, I have one student as my friend for last 3 years. She is so younger to me, but we are quite similar. She cares so much for me and she feels , I am her elder sister. We have shared so much and talk for such long hours specially on lockdown. Can you imagine, from the class of 45 students, she was the only one, we felt instant connection and our conversations never end  She is a bit crazy like me too. And crazy for dance too like me.  We dance for hours and hours and hours. It's a very selfless love and care. When I had vaccine last month, she cared for me like anything. Another beautiful destined soul connection.

Yeh rishtey!! Kuch uljhe hue aur kuch suljhe  hue,
Kabhi yuhi bewajah jud jaate hain aur kabhi yuhi kisi wajah se choot jaate hain, bahut si yaadein dil mein chod jaate hain aur ek nishaan sa bana jaate hain!!
Fir bhi inse hum aur humse yeh,
Yeh rishtey, kitne ajeeb hain yeh rishtey, 
Kuch uljhe hue aur kuch suljhe hue,
Bahut kuch sikhaate hue, kismat se kab jud jaayein, koi nahi jaanta aur kab kahan kis se choot jaayein, koi nahi jaanta,
Kabhi rulaate hue aur kabhi hasaate hue, 
Kitne ajeeb hain yeh rishtey,
Kab Kaun apna begana ban jaaye aur kab kaun begana apna ban jaaye, yeh koi nahi jaanta,
Kab kaun yuhi saath chal dey aur kab kaun kahan kis modh pe saath chod dey, yeh koi nahi jaanta
Yeh rishtey kitne ajeeb hain yeh rishtey.

You also share your thoughts and experiences on friendship, I would love to read.

21st Aug,2021
I went to my granny's place and saw her after a long time, about 8 months later, because of Covid 19. She is 85 years old , cant see and even her heart is working only 30%  sadly. It's very difficult for me to see her in such a condition and my heart is always heavy, whenever I meet her. She always feel so happy whenever she meets me and listens to my voice. And same with me. That's the bond we have with each other. I hold her hand and try to motivate her with my words, whatever best I can but still , one part of me feels very sad when she shares her physical, mental and emotional pain with me. She cant do anything and can just sit or ly down on bed. I keep praying for her and dont know till when, she has to bear all this pain in this life. Ohhh.....God...pls be with her....I keep telling this in my heart. I still remember the time, when I was a kid, used to stay with her for many days and she used to tell me so many stories. Some of the stories, I still remember and the beautiful childhood memories with her.
Then, I  had a break at night with my cousins and after a long time, the whole family sat together and  watched the movie-  shershaah. ........the character was so inspiring and that too real life story of a Fauji. We had ice- cream party and pasta with the movie. My cousin had cooked pasta and macaroni and I just love it, specially the one ,made by him. Thats the bond we have, actually, and its always fun when we are together. And after the movie ended,like always, I was full of my thoughts about it. The person, Captain  Vikram Batra, since his childhood, was so full of life and fearless and so clearheaded.. Some people are born legends, they have something extra ordinary, an X factor in them, some fire and spark , they are just on their mission and that's their focus and passion .I had tears in my eyes at the end of the movie. So difficult is the life of these army people. Real salute to them. The hunger , thirst doesnt matter to them, they just keep walking on their mission selflessly and sacrifice their lives unconditionally. 


Rakhi day!!

22nd August,2021
I tied rakhi on my brother's hand and my cute nephew kid's hand too. And like, every year, he refused to put red roli teeka on his forehead and I ran after him to put it. And that's real fun, everyone in the family kept watching us and tried to catch him finally to put it on his forehead. We hugged each other tightly and got a photo clicked as beautiful memory. He always brings smile on my face. My chotu cute little angel!! And then he got a gift from me, his favorite gift- toys. 

And then, after sometime,  while playing, he saw a huge tall pen on my table and asked me, "Where did you get this from?" I told him that , on the way, I met a kid who was selling these pens and I bought it from him. Then, he asked me," Was he poor? Were his clothes torn? " I said to him," Yes, he was poor." And then I also told him, always be a good human being and help people in life specially the poor and needy ones. Then he asked me," What will you gift me on Christmas eve?" I told my 7 year young child," on this Christmas  eve, you become Santa and give sweets and chocolates to poor kids. They will be happy and you bring smile on their face. You will also be happy, seeing them smiling."  And he said," yes, Bui  ,I will and you come along with me." I smiled and hugged him again. 

Then, he kept on telling me his dreams which he says, he sees at night while sleeping and these are so crazy dreams, you just cant imagine and well, I keep listening to his crazy dreams patiently, enjoying as he keeps laughing and I love seeing his expressions while he tells his dreams. These are all nice lovely memories, I cherish with my cute darling. One of his dreams was," Bui, I saw a snake last night in our room and he was coming towards all of us- You, Daadi, Daadu, Mummy and papa,  but he was a ghost in the form of snake with wires on it and I had beaten and scared the ghost away....ha ha!!"" And his dreams and such crazy stories continue and continue.....He loves playing with his toy games with me and I also do.  I feel so refreshed spending time with him whenever I can. He misses me so much and I miss him too. Some strange strong bond and connection I feel with her. ....I will keep telling you more about him.........


25th August,2021 
While I was traveling and on my way, my cab had stopped on the red light and to my surprise, a person came near the window of my cab and started blessing me just like that. And she said," Beti, teri aankhein batati hain ki tu dil ki bahut saaf hai aur tere dil mein bahut saari kahaaniyon aur jazbaatoen ka saagar hai, tu apne dil mein bahut kuch sama leti hai, saagar ki tarah!! Meri dua hai ki tu hamesha khush rehna aur teri har tamanna poori ho, tu jo chaaahe , tujhe woh mile!! " I smiled, said thanks to her and started giving her some money for her wellbeing but to my surprise,  she refused. I ,somehow, never  came across such a person in my life. Well, this person was a transgender, or you call it as gay. I always feel bad and have a soft corner for them. I insisted her to take the money from me but she again refused. Then, I also wished her luck and waved her bye.

I was full of thoughts about her and what she said to me. Also, thinking about her, made me feel more sad and heavy, that what life such people have..they are so unfortunate, their identity is questioned, they cant find any work and they are made fun of and ill- treated by people. This reminded me of a movie I had watched and it had really touched my heart...," Tamanna". In that movie, if you have watched, the movie was based on a gay who was a very nice person, found a very young newly born baby girl in a dustbin thrown by a rich family, he nurtured her....so, it's the story based on the emotional relationship between that gay father and this girl daughter . ..very heart touching movie and I love  the song from the movie- " Ghar se masjid  hai bahut dur,  chalo yun karlein,  kisi rotey hue bachche ko hasaya jaaye......"

As my cab started moving, just a few minutes later, and to my surprise, Ahhhhhhhh...... I started hearing some noise, as if some fight is going on.. I got down from my cab and walked towards the place, from where the noise was coming. And again to my surprise,  what I saw was  shocking...........

..........to be continued........

Keep reading for more!!

Stay safe,  stay blessed and stay happy always!!

Shalini

Shalini  posted in My diary

Post updated on:  Aug 31, 2021 9:57:42 PM

Independence Day!! 15th August, 1947!! None of us can forget this date and till today, whenever this day comes, it takes us way back in our memories. We got our long awaited freedom on this day. So many of our freedom fighters lost their lives only in the dream of an Independent free India, our country. Till today, on this day, in the schools, colleges, children are made to listen to the great stories of our Freedom. Fighters.


The radio still plays songs like-
Itni shakti hamein dena daata, mann ka vishwaas kamzor ho na., hum chakein nek raaste pe humse, bhool kar bhi koi bhool ho na............, .. ....,
Aye maalik, tere bandey hum, aise ho hamaare Karam, Neki par chale aur badi se darein, taaki haste hue nikle dum.....

On Independence as a tribute to them and memorable day. These songs are still my favorite ones and even I grew up listening to each word of it and these words still touch my heart and motivate me . We can never forget the sacrifices made by our freedom fighters for us.

Well, to me, whenever this day comes, one thought, one question always comes to my mind and I don't get an answer to it. What is Independence? What is freedom? Are we really free? Did our freedom fighters dream of such a country where we live today? Think of it for a moment..Are we really free and independent as a nation, as a person?

Well, to me , freedom is when you are free from all the negativity in your hearts and only, happiness, peace and love prevails. To me, a free nation is where anybody, any girl feels safe. There is no fear, there is light everywhere and no darkness. But we have so much envy and darkness in our hearts. Are we really free? Many of our people in the army still fight on the front against the evil terrorism. And what's more to it, since, last 1.5 years, we are fighting with this virtual terrorism , named as Covid 19.

Think of it!! Are we really free? I sometimes wonder, when all this will end? Will it ever end? As it is said, there is always light at the end of tunnel. I dream of a nation, where everyone is dancing with love , happiness and peace in their hearts. There is no envy and hatred in anyone's hearts. A girl is safe in the house and on the roads and she is not afraid. Everyone is safe. India has always been known as the country of different diversities and culture across the world.

Will my dream come true some day and I will see such a free nation? Yes, may be, if we, as a person start evolving and take steps towards our freedom and independence. We, as individuals, start getting rid of all the negative feelings and emotions within us and free us from all the negativity within us. We start creating a chain of happiness and peace around ,and then slowly and gradually, the whole nation will enjoy the freedom and then the whole world. The true Independence and freedom will be when all of us will be economically and emotionally free and independent. We will be better human beings and humanity, peace , joy and love will prevail in everyone's hearts. And that will be the true meaning of education. When there will not be any discrimination on the basis of rich, poor, caste, religion, and all will be equal ad free.

I wonder and wish sometimes but still eagerly waiting for that day to come soon. There is a plethora of thoughts in me like an ocean but would like to end it here today. Let's make a promise to ourselves today, on this day!! Lets care for each other again!! Let's keep humanity alive!! Let's be more human!!


Keep reading for more and do let me know what Independence means to you.
I would love to read your thoughts

I wish you a life full of freedom and Independence, full of happiness, positivity, hope, love and peace.

Thanks!!

Shalini



Shalini  posted in Festival

Post updated on:  Aug 14, 2021 12:54:07 PM

A story of a young innocent girl who had faith in her wishes and her Santa!!   
Well,  we all have our own set of Wishlist yet to be fulfilled.  We often say,  I wish this could happen but I know it just can't happen in my life,  I really wish, I get this but I know I won't,  it just out of my reach.  Today,  I will tell you a story of a girl who was very innocent and innocently believed that her wishes will get fulfilled.  One day,  Santa will come and fulfill all her wishes.  After reading this story,  I hope and wish that like this girl, you also start believing in your wishes again.  Yes,  they can come true!!! 


So here starts the story - 

The girl named Shiny, was born in a very conservative and poor family. She lost her mother,  when she was only 6 yrs old.  Her father never used to talk to her as he felt that bcoz of her birth,  he lost his  wife.  Also,  he never wanted a girl child. And the fact was that her mother died because of emotional,  mental and physical trauma,  she got from her father regularly, as he always wanted a boy child and she could give him one. 

So,  he remarried and finally got two baby boys. Shiny 's step brothers who were twins.  One was  Ramesh and other was Suresh.  She was always ill treated by her step mother and bullied by her brothers.  And whenever she used to go to her father to talk to,  her father never used to listen to her and again favored her brothers,  Ramesh and Suresh.  

She had nobody to talk to. She used to often cry and talk to her mother alone.  She missed her a lot and shared everything with her.  But today,  she just could not stop crying.... ohhh she was hungry for last 2 days and her step mother had beaten her with hot rod.  She kept crying holding her mother's photo in her hand and slept while weeping and weeping and weeping.. She saw a dream and in her dream,  she saw her mother talking to her. 

Mumma - What happened my child,  my princess?  Why are you crying so much?  See,  I am here for you.  I am with you always.  Whenever you want me near you,  just close your eyes,  I will always be here with you.  Now tell me,  what happened? 

Shiny - Ohhh. Mumma!!  Where have you gone?  Nobody loves me.... Am I so bad?  And it's paining so much mumma..... What do I do? 

Mumma -  My love,  I am here na,  it won't pain now. All will be fine.  You are a strong girl na. 

Shiny -  Why does Papa not love me?  What have I done mumma? 

Mumma -  You are my darling princess,  you have not done anything And papa loves you,  he just keeps busy with his work. 

Shiny -   No,  mumma!  He doesn't love me.  He didn't love you also. 

Mumma -  you know why I kept your name as Shiny? Because,  I wanted you to shine like a star in the whole world and I know you will one day.  And hey,  tomorrow is Christmas!!  Your favorite Santa will come tomorrow with lots of gifts.  

Shiny - I don't want any gift mumma.  I just want you.  You are my angel mumma!! 

Mumma-  I am always there for you my darling.  Write your wishes on a paper , close your eyes and tell in the ears of Santa tomorrow . You trust your momma?  Very soon an angel will come in your life and take away all your pains and will make your life beautiful. 

Shiny - Yes mumma,  I trust you!!  But what if Santa is busy and he doesn't come to me? 

Mumma - Then you give your paper of wish to me and I will give it to Santa. 

Shiny - OK Mumma!! 

Some months later,  she met a boy who became her nice friend.  He was very caring and a kind person.  He always used to help others and used to protect her from all class mates who used to bully her.  He always used to guide her and support her in every way.  His name was Rehan. 

Shiny -  Mumma,  Is Rehan my angel? You have sent him for me? 

Mumma - Yes darling,  Rehan is your angel.  He will always take good care of you.  And I am always there for you.  Just close your eyes as always,  I will just be there.  And now make one promise to me that you will be like your name.  You will shine like a star. You will prove to everyone that you despite of a girl,  you are no less than anyone.  You will make me proud 

Shiny - Yes mumma,  I will. Thank you Mummma!!  I love you lots!! 

Shiny and Rehan grew together,  walked together in all tough times holding each others hands like a rock.  Shiny got married to Rehan and she is an independent woman Entrepreneur working for the Upliftment of such unfortunate girls and women. 

Santa can be anyone,  he can be someone around you as in this story,  Shiny 's mother was her Santa.  Or you can become Santa for someone making someone smile or fulfilling someone 's wishes.  

Let all of us become a child once  again today at heart  and make a wish list and give it to our Santa with full faith and belief.  Miracles do happen if we believe in them.  Wishes do get fulfilled if we believe in them!!


Let's spread smile and a lot of happiness in each others lives this Christmas!! 

A very Merry Christmas to all of you!! 

You can also share your story,  the way I shared mine.  I would love to read. 

Keep reading for more!! 


Stay safe,  Stay blessed and stay happy always!! 
Lots of love and  my best wishes always!! 
Shalini

Shalini  posted in Stories

Post updated on:  Aug 1, 2021 12:35:32 AM

One incident that  changed a girl 's life!! Who knows what life has in store for us  next moment!!
Today,  I am sharing a painful story of a girl,  a young girl of about 12 yrs of age, studying in school, always busy with her studies and tying to fulfill the expectations of her family.  Though she is hardworking and studious,  yet very shy and reserve nature and very sensitive and emotional at heart.  She was good in studies and used to get good marks in all her subjects. She was every teacher' s favorite as she was very obedient as well. Teachers used to give her example in the class. Unfortunately,  she had no friends and her family was also not very supportive of her.  She was always trying to fulfill her mother's wishes and expectations but could never make her happy.  And she didn't understand why,  which,  in turn made her self esteem very low. 


Her name was Sheena.  When she was alone,  she always used to play with her dolls and teddys. Like any other girl,  she also grew up dreaming of her prince charming who will come one day...like a fairy tale and movies we watch but who knew life had planned something else for her.

One day,  one of her Uncle came to stay at her place for some days as he had got a job in her city and her father felt that he should stay with them. Uncle was close to her father . Soon,  Uncle started pampering Sheena,  started buying chocolates and gifts for her. When she refused,  her mother said it's ok. He is a nice person, he is family and you are like a daughter to him.  So she accepted. 

Suddenly  one day,  Sheena 's parents had to go out for 2-3 days as her grandmother was not well.

   Sheena-  Pls take me also with you.  I cant stay alone here. 

   Momma-   Don't behave like a child ..You are a grownup girl now. Your exams are approaching and you have school also. Don't bother me now.  Start sharing some of my responsibilities.  I have to handle everything   - the house , your father,  all relatives,  everything all alone ...so not you now.  Go now,  I have to do the packing. We cant miss the train. Go in the kitchen and cook the food for us. I have no time to listen to you. 

Sheena-  Ok momma!!. I will do as you say

And she was all alone with Uncle. Her parents trusted him enough so she also started trusting him.  But who knew these 3 days will change her life drastically.  

The night came   and after serving dinner to Uncle, she went to sleep in her room on her bed. Suddenly, she woke up when she realized somebody is beside her on her bed and touching her,  here and there,  even her private parts.  She just could not understand what's happening,    what's going on.  And she was shocked.....she was just shocked to see....it was......it was....nobody else.....her Uncle, who her family trusted a lot and she also did. She respected him.

   Sheena-  Ummmmmmmmmmmmm. Uncle,  what are you doing? Pls don't....I don't like it.

Uncle- you dare not shout.  Else,  you cant even imagine what I will do with you. Even if you try to....who will believe you? Nobody will. 
               

He threatened her  pressed her mouth so that she cant do anything,  not even shout. She was physically,  sexually abused by him regularly consecutively for 3 days and he kept on threatening her if she even tried to tell this to anyone. 

Finally   4 th day, when her parents came back   she tried but she could not share anything with them as she also knew that nobody will believe her. The trauma   she was going through emotionally and mentally had taken her smile from her.  She was always lost. Her marks started going down. 

Soon,  some years later, her parents felt that they should get her married now. And they can get over with all the responsibilities they had for her.

She got married. And soon when her husband tried to come close to her,  she pushed him away and started shouting.  So many years of trauma had made her insane.  All the pain inside her.......tears, anger all came out once. The husband just could not understand anything.  It was many years of strange silence which broke like this today.  But who knew that this silence had to be broken only for a while.  She had a nervous breakdown and got admitted in mental asylum.  

It has been many years now,  she is 35 years of age,  still in mental asylum. Her husband divorced her the next day of that incident and re married someone else.

Nobody can imagine the trauma she must have gone through all her life after what happened with her as a child.  It broke her in pieces emotionally,  mentally,  physically and at a soul level too.  I just hope she gets better and fine soon.  But can she live a normal life?  Why are some journeys like this?  It was not her fault at all.  Why she had to go through all this? Who is to be blamed?  Our society?  You know,  we fall , we get physically hurt and in sometime,  we heal but some traumas...?..How many more Nirbhayas we will have? When will a girl or a woman not be looked at like this,  just as an object? I am still wishing and hoping that some day such a world will come in place.  

My purpose of sharing this story and experience with you is only that if all of us can understand and become more sensitive and more human towards some things. 

  Not all stories unfortunately have a happy ending.  Do share your thoughts in the comments section below. 

Keep reading for more  I will see you soon with another story or another experience.  

Lots of Love and My Best Wishes!!

Stay safe,  stay blessed and stay happy always!!


Shalini

Shalini  posted in Stories

Post updated on:  Aug 1, 2021 12:35:24 AM

Well,  if you think or talk about  Love,  everyone has their own definition of love.  But can you really define love?  Actually,  you can just feel it but can't see it like air.  And to me,  Love is a selfless,  pure,  intense deep emotional connection,  a union of two souls and hearts with a life long commitment and it's destined.  I strongly believe that You don't find love but Love finds you.  You change and grow so much with it, when it happens in your life.  You just don't know when it touches you and your life.  Two souls walk together and grow together in life.  

This is a story of a friend of mine,  who is a singer based out of Gujarat.  He has a background of music and  does live concerts. I,  being an Artist at heart,  and singer too felt an artistic musical connection with him very soon.  Every Sunday became a ritual of singing together on call with him and I just loved this feeling of getting lost in music and singing with him forgetting this world of tensions.  Artists have their own beautiful lovely world too . I am sure,  my artistic readers can very well relate with me here.   I used to forget all my tensions,  everything and used to just get lost in a different peaceful musical world.  I remembered my childhood days,  when in school days,  I used to go to learn music from my Guruji after my school used to get over. 


We became nice friends soon because of this beautiful musical connection. Though he is very young to me in age but he has been a very nice pure person at heart and he had his own struggles and challenges of his life.  But I want to share his love story today with you all,  which is very different and unusual,  which actually shows that when real love happens,  it really happens and it doesn't see anything -age,  caste,  or anything.  And it evolves you so much that it makes you a much better person.  

He was only 24 years young,  when I got connected with him and we have never met though yet.  And as his age,  he has been  quite immature and always used to take suggestions from me as his guide,  as I am elder to him.  He is from a very conservative family background and always believed that he would marry a simple girl by the choice of his family. Well,  we have been friends for about 4 years now and here??..,  


One day,  he told me , " Hey Shalini,  I am in love!! " I said,  Really? That's nice to know!!" Then I laughed for a while and asked him ," Do you really know what love is? I hope it's not your today's generation love,  which comes and goes soon and which is actually not love at all. 

Then he said, " No,  No,  it's your type of love - that intense deep lifetime commitment,  lifetime heart and soul connection wala love!!" I was like... OK!!. Nice!!  I smiled for a while and I wanted to know more about it.  

And actually this time,  his voice had more depth,  a little more evolved and a little more mature.  He didn't sound like that immature boy who used to be infatuated so easily. And then I asked,  " So,  Who 's the girl? "And he said, " You will be surprised to know. " I said, " I am already surprised,  so pls tell me now. "

My friend - She is 10 years elder to me,  separated with a child which does not matter to me at all and I love her with all my heart.  I just can't imagine my life without her!! 

Me - Hold on!!  Let me take a deep breath and digest what you are saying.  Are you really sure about this feeling? 

My friend - Yes,  very sure!! 

Me - Do you even realize the challenges?  Have you even thought about it? You might be immature and confused about your feelings but that girl must have gone through a lot and she might get hurt.  Also,  the age gap between you two is quite a concern.  She will grow old faster than you.  And the maturity levels of both of you will be different.  Do you see spending your whole life with her?  Do you see yourself growing old with her till last breath?  Marrying her,  being with her till last breath?  And what about your conservative family?  I had all these questions for him.  Do you have answers to all these questions?  Have you asked yourself? It's something serious and responsible OK,  my dear friend!! 

My friend - Yes,  I do!  I really love her so much!!  I accept her the way she is and with all she has,  even with her child... Will be mine too. 

Well,  I wanted to see if he is only talking or he is really serious about it and has grown and evolved that much. That's what Love really does to you!!  Hmmmmm........ Well,  yes!!  
Though,  I trusted him as a person that he will never hurt anyone but I was not able to trust his immature age. 

It has been 2 years now, and he is still in love with her.  They are happy together.  Though he had always come to me for suggestions and guidance,  their relationship had really gone through lot of challenges as I already knew and had gauged.  There was a time when he was really insecure about her and they had a lot of differences in understanding each other.  I have really seen him transforming from an immature boy to a mature evolved man. And that's what true love does to you!!  And also,  loving an elder person does to you.  

It's a very rare ,real , unconventional and unusual love story. I am happy for them.  I hope to see them happily married soon with all my best wishes.  Though,  I have personally always felt and believed that age gap in a relationship or Love is not good,  specially in today's times  But I think real love does not see any boundaries or gaps.  It just feels the connection from heart and soul which is destined..  I always used to wonder if movies like "Dil toh Paagal hai "or  " Wake up Sid " (showing age gap love)  can be real but seeing this love story,  it seems it can be real . Love really conquers all if it's real!! . 

What do you think?  Really?  Does Age gap matter in Love?  Can it be long lasting? 

Let me know your opinion in comments box pls. Also,  share any of your love stories like this,  I would love to read. 

Lots of love and my best wishes!! 

Stay safe,  stay blessed and stay happy always!! 

Keep smiling !!

Happy Reading!! 

Shalini




Shalini  posted in Stories

Post updated on:  Aug 1, 2021 12:35:16 AM

Well,  what we really see these days often,  is that a lot of people around us committing suicide, specially youth.  Recently, an uncle staying close to my home in our apartment, tried to commit suicide 3 times, when finally,  3rd time,  he could make it.  And the suicide note,  he had left behind, mentioned that he could not bear the pain of his mother who left him some years back. He had his wife and kids too though,  but still he decided to quit one day and leave this world.
 Sometime back,  a young IAS student had committed suicide because he got late for his exam and was not allowed to give the exam for which he had prepared the whole year.  He was only 10 mins late because of the severe traffic and he requested the examiner a lot but all in vain.  Thereafter,  he locked himself in his room and decided to commit suicide mentioning as his last words as,  " I can't take this pressure anymore!! ". 

I had a childhood friend during my college days,  who was deeply,  madly and obsessively in love with a girl from his school days.  Well,  it was a one sided love only from his side, as the girl never responded to his feelings. He still kept on pursuing her.  In fact,  he started learning all the things she liked, like playing guitar.  And this rejection actually made him cut his hand often  with a knife but was never successful in it despite many attempts.  

And now we read about the famous actor,  close to our hearts, Sushant Singh Rajput gave up and committed suicide.  It's said that he had severe depression for quite some time,  many months.  


Well,  what else,  I am sure,  we will find enough real stories of people who decided to end their lives one day or one moment and left this world.  And it is really very sad to see this actually.  In fact,  I had also lost someone,  a very close friend of mine in an accident and I can very well,  feel and understand the pain of losing someone close. I had gone mad and could not stop my tears which used to flow every now and then. And I had nobody to talk to OR share my pain with,  who can just listen to me and understand.  I was looking for him everywhere every time.  Then I realized his soul is always with me. I have to go on and fulfill all the dreams he had seen for me.  That moment,  I realized that my life is not only mine,  in fact, I owe it to many people.  So how can I give up?  I can't.  May be life is testing me and I will pass through this.  This shall pass like other moments.  If you lose someone close to you suddenly in the friction of seconds or a moment,  you just can't accept it,  you feel guilty and you feel there was so much to say and the pain is much more for the closeness of a person who has suddenly ended his life  

I have really one question to ask, "Is suicide the only solution? What if we had no option as suicide and we were just bound to live, the way we can't control our birth? "Whatever is the reason,  whether,  it's a heartbreak or a peer pressure,  competition or  losing someone close,  one thing is common that there is a lot of grief,  pain, unhappiness which is unbearable and gets difficult to handle and you feel that ending your life can and will give you peace.  Is that so really? When we have happy moments,  we want to hold on to them but when we have tough moments,  we can't hold on to them. Why? Because that's how life and our mind works.  And you know what,  nothing is permanent as everything changes every moment. Change is the only thing which is constant.  There is a saying -"Tough times don't last but tough people do! ". Whenever I feel low,  I always say to myself, " This shall pass too!!  Have faith and have patience!!  Keep going on!! ".I want to tell you a story here by Buddha.  

Buddha was walking and walking and walking continuously to a place,  one day,  with his disciple when he got tired and asked his disciple to sit and rest for a while.  He also asked him to bring water for him from a nearby pond as he was very thirsty.  So,  the disciple went to bring water for him.  But when he reached the pond,  he realized that the water is very dirty with mud all around.  He said to himself, " How can I take this water for Buddha?  I can't. "He went back empty handed without water and told Buddha, " Sorry!!  The water is very muddy,  so I could not bring it for you ". Then Buddha said, " Don't worry,  go to the same place after sometime and you will find clean water and then you can bring it for me.  Rest till then. ". The disciple said, "OK,  as you say. " But he didn't understand what Buddha meant by this yet he decided to trust him and follow his guidance.  Sometime later,  he went to the same pond again and to his surprise,  he saw the clean water there.    He kept on wondering on the way back  while carrying the water for Buddha.  When he reached Buddha,  he asked him, " How is this possible? " Buddha said, " This is what happens when you wait for a while and let things flow on its own. We waited for a while and then the mud had settled down on its own leaving the clean water up running.  Same happens in our life with our mind also. When we allow it to rest for a while,  things flow and settle on their own.  We just need to let it flow and not hold onto it or give up then.  Just sit and rest for a while and then walk again." Great learning for me when I read this story by him. 


Many times,  just one moment makes us weak and so weak that in the heat of that moment, we decide to give up.  I am sure that such a moment must have come in all of our lives at  some point of time  which must have made us very weak at that point of time,  when your mind says , "This is it,  I can't see anything beyond now,  all blank , my life is worthless!!  I am worthless !!" And it's not a nice feeling at all.  Such a moment came in my life also, when all my dreams were shattered and I was all alone going mad and blank.  I was broken into pieces and shattered. " The Hard Rock me "was shattered and could not see any way out.  But I decided,  not to quit and let that moment pass. I said to myself,  Like other moments,  this shall also pass!! Talk to someone at that weak moment of yours which is making you mad and restless.  If you don't have anyone,  write your thoughts in a diary , listen to nice music or do something what you like,  try to divert your mind and see the moment passes just like that.  It's the accumulation of our negative thoughts about us which makes us feel like this - unworthy or unhappy.  If we just allow that moment to pass,  we can see,  life is still worthy!! You are worthy!!  How can you not be worthy when you are a part of this Universe,  made by Universe.  And Universe has made all of us unique  , we just need to realize and discover this in ourselves.  If you start looking at yourself from your eyes and not from someone else 's eyes. Trust that Universe has a unique purpose for each one of us that's why we are living and alive.  We face the adversities for a reason.  Everything has a reason,  if you can trust the process.  It was not easy for me too but I tried to trust the Universe,  go with the flow and get up again,  every time I was shattered because I knew this is not the end,  may be a roadblock or a tunnel and I will see the light ahead.  And see,  that's what happened with me,  such moments were a turning point of my life.  We all know that good has to go through a very tough process of melting and pain,  then only it finally becomes the precious gold we see as final product which is nice,  beautiful and strong too.  These adversities make us strong.  Now,  when I look back,  I realize,  I had to go through all this pain to become who I am today.  That process,  that journey is important.  We have to trust the process and trust the universe.  He has a plan for all of us.  He has sent all of us with a purpose 

No broken relationship,  no unfulfilled dram, no loss,  nothing is larger than life itself.  I believe there is a lack of love for oneself which actually makes one unhappy and you feel worthless.  Life is a very precious gift given by Universe and in fact,  human life is the most precious and rare gift given to us as per "Bhagwad Gita ", the mythological book we all know.  We should value it.  You never know when the next moment brings positive for you,  so you need to have that faith in yourself and Universe and keep going. That's what life is all about!!  Keep going, come what may!! .  Well,  as very rightly said,  the journey is important and not the destination!!   

I have also gone through so many weak moments in my life,  where I felt,  " I can't see anything beyond this,  Where to go?  Here is the dead end!! " But then,  immediately,  somehow,  my inner voice told me that what I have,  many don't,  so I should value what I have before this is also lost. So,  I always look at people who are more unfortunate than me,  which inspires me to do something for them. Yes,  I can make something worthy of me and my life.  All of us can. Trust yourself.  Love yourself.  Value yourself!!  And you never know what you see as dead end might just be a roadblock and it is beginning of something new!! It has happened few times in my life,  when I felt the moment is a dead-end and it became a turning point of my life and beginning of something very new. 


There is a saying, " What you have,  you might feel it is not enough, but try to look at it from someone else ' s eyes, you will realize that it's enough!! " I have myself got up so many times in my life after every loss and every downfall because I knew in my heart,  somewhere suicide is never a solution to any problem. I am sure,  all of us have heard these stories in our childhood but sometimes it is good to read them again and again 

Naadaan hotel hain woh jo yun zindgi se haar maan lete hain !!
Ek cheenti se seekho zindgi jeene ka jasba,  itni mushkiloen ke baad bhi woh koshish karna nahi chodti,  haar nahi maanti kyuki koshish karne waaloen ki Kabhi haar nahi hoti!! 

Everyday sun rises and gives us light without fail,  Trees always give us shadow without getting tired teaching us to never give up!!  There is always light after the darkness!! 

Birds sing daily for us selflessly,  happily.  Trees give us shadow when we are tired from the heat of sun.  If you see around,  everything about nature is so beautiful and happy. Why?  Because they just keep flowing selflessly.  They are so happy and we get happy with nature.  We smile too!!  

Love yourself!!  Know yourself!!  Accept yourself!!  You are unique in your own ways,  the way fingers of our hands are different and unique in their own ways and each has its own purpose!! 

Your dreams,  your happiness, everything is from You!! If you are there,  everything is there!!  And you are worthy of everything!!  You are worthy within yourself!!  There is a saying,  " Life has a different exam for everyone,  You can't copy it!!  "" 

Never Give Up!! 


Lots of Love and my best wishes!! 
 
Stay safe, stay blessed and stay happy always!! 

Keep Smiling!!

Shalini  posted in Positivity

Post updated on:  Aug 1, 2021 12:35:07 AM

When I just think of Women, the first name which comes to my mind is  Beauty. A Beautiful Creation of God. But how many of us realize this beauty within us? Not many, in fact, hardly any. I want to introduce YOU to  You today- the Beautiful Creation of God!! 

What is Beauty? 
Beauty is something which is so energetic, vibrant, colorful, positive, strong, and voluptuous and a woman has all these qualities. 
She lives all the various different colors of life- Joy, Happiness, Sadness and still goes on and on with a great soothing smile on her face throughout her life. She lives only for others- her closed ones. When she is born, she is told that she should be like this, she should be like that; she should behave like this, she should not behave like that; she should not laugh fully; she should not be her natural self; she should wear this, she should not wear that; and she keeps following all these norms and conditions of the society, one after the other; in the process, forgetting.

Who She really is!!?
She is a Unique Creation of God!! She is an Inspiration!! She is a Nurturer!! She gives whole of herself for everyone else. She is a Daughter, she is a Sister, she is a Wife, she is a Mother, she is a Friend; and she plays all these roles, nurturing every relationship of hers, forgetting about herself- that's her Beauty!!! 

As a daughter, she fulfils and lives up to all the expectations of her parents. 



As a wife, she carries all her values and virtues given to her by her family since childhood to her new home and nurtures all the newly formed relationships in that new home. She has all the strength and power in herself to adopt new ways, new culture and new environment. All this while, she carries some memories with her and creates new memories of a new life.


As a mother, first of all, she carries a child in her womb, bears all the pain of bringing him/her in this world and then nurturing the new born to the eternity till he/ she grows as a mature responsible individual adult. She instils all her values and virtues in bringing him or her up. When her child grows and marries, gives birth to a child; she becomes a grandmother.


As a grandmother, she again tries to instill her values and virtues to the newer generation in whatever way and form she can. And one final day, she leaves this world leaving some good/ bad memories with all her closed ones around or else she is living a life of being dependent on the people around her or an unfulfilled life full of some regrets and some sadness in her eyes which she again hides behind her smile. Yet, she always has some unanswered questions in her mind, which unfortunately she never asks herself because she loses herself so much in the whole process. 

She just forgets to ask herself, WHO IS SHE?? 
As I mentioned earlier, in this article, Each and Every Woman is a Unique Creation of God, she has a Unique Talent of her own. She has a Unique Identity of her Own!!? She just needs to find herself. She just needs to discover herself. She just needs to realize her Inner Strength. And when life pushes her to be left alone in this world to deal with all the difficulties and challenges, she starts pitying herself and starts feeling weak. Ohhhhh?.
Why does she always forget her Inner Strength? She is the one who gives life, creates and nurtures everything. She is Wise, Pure and Strong like the GODDESS!!!! Ohhhhh?..All YOU WOMEN out there?. Yes, I am talking to YOU when will YOU realize your -inner Strength. 

Get up and discover you Beautiful Self and make this world a much better beautiful place to live in. You can only do it!!!? Yes, it's YOU and YOU only who can do it. You have done it yesterday, you can do it today and you can do it always!! I am not telling you to leave everything, every relationship, every duty and responsibility of yours; I am just telling you to discover yourself, Your Unique Self and stand up for Yourself, Create Your Own IDENTITY and Stand up for What You think and feel is Right for You!!!

Keep Reading for more and keep Smiling!!




Shalini  posted in Women

Post updated on:  Aug 1, 2021 12:34:58 AM

One Unique Friendship, never seen or heard before!! You don't see such friendship these days -15 years long - Small tribute to my best friend, my guide, my Angel !!
Well!!  There are some dates in life that can never be forgotten and give tears in our eyes, no matter what and how much you control!! And  takes  life back again for sometime with some memorable moments coming in your heart. There is this  one date that comes in my life every year and gives some smiles and some sadness in my eyes. That date is 25th April, death anniversary day of my Bestie cum Brother. On this day, 2 years ago, ohhhh God, I had lost my  bestie who was like brother for me,  in an accident, no no I haven't lost him because he is still with me and will always be  with me.
 
What a strange thing - which relation will remain  with us for how long - lifetime or only for sometime and will go  how far ,no one knows, I wish, we could  know this.  I really wish we could know this!!!  

A very strong soul connection!!! The only person, only friend in my life who walked with me consistently throughout, for 15 years since the day we met. And the only  friend and in fact,  the only person in my life,  who understood me and  my dreams so well without any judgements. And you know how we met for the first time as if it was just destined and I didn't know this that time. We had met ,first time, at a bus stop when I was coming back from my office that evening in CP  and there was a problem with chartered buses that day and we had to go to the same destination. I went to him and checked about the problem with buses. So,  then he said that he also has to go to the same place and if I don't mind,  we can share an auto.  I felt comfortable with him as he was elder title and looked like a very nice gentleman who can be trusted.  So we shared auto and then we had some conversations. As I had marketing profile and he was from advertising world, we connected quite well. He made me his friend very quickly, but I don't make friends so soon, neither earlier nor today. I take a long time to make friends. It's not like that I don't meet people or people don't do friendship with me. I believe that friends are not made they just become  when it has to happen it just happens. It's destined.  Often many people accept me as their friend very quickly but I don't accept them quickly, that's probably because I never get anyone to understand me, who can understand my dreams as me and my dreams are not as much different, I never had such a friend who could accept me the way I am, without judging me,  who could understand me and my dreams. I was a best friend of myself and how can I forget him, My Gannu Bhaiya and for all of us Lord Ganesha but for me- my Gannu bhaiya!!!
 
And this first friend of mine who, when met me, suddenly started talking about my dreams. He was kind- hearted and very innocent. He was very open minded,  non judgmental, mature, patient and cool headed He believed more in my dreams than me. And he always used to push me and encourage me  to follow my dreams, which I really liked.  All these years,  where I have been fighting alone for my dreams and here is someone who wants to help and believes in my dreams. Wow!!!  Thank you so much Gannu  Bhaiya for sending him in my life!! 

 I really wanted to become an artist, singer and actor since childhood and as soon as my eyes opened , I grew with this dream from childhood, but I also understood that I have to achieve my dreams and destination myself. Why was it difficult for me?  Well, another long story and a long  chapter of my life,  some other time,  I will share with you.  For now, let's come back to the chapter of my bestie. So,  this new friend of mine started introducing me to the people of advertising world and started doing my recordings.. Now what.  then often we started to be  seen together and people started doing gossiping about us.
 
Well,  our talks were unlimited and never ending,  always on and on. He was quite different from me. He was 9 years elder than me and slowly slowly everyone started feeling jealous from our strong friendship. Some of his talks really touched my heart. He was very selfless, helpful and simple person. I think he must have done PHD in humanity. Everyone considered him as stupid and always took him for granted which I did not like at all but still he did not give up on his selfless goodness and probably because of these few,   such people, true friendship and love is still alive as  an example, a precedent. Everyone was astonished after seeing our strong friendship.

There is a line from a famous song I love " Zinda hai hum hi se naam pyaar ka,  ki marke bhi kisi ko yaad ayenge,  kisi ke aansuon mein myskarayenge,  jeena isika naam hai!!  "
The first person in my life who was selflessly committed to my dreams. He used to encourage me always. He trusted more in me and  my dreams than I could. He always maintained friendship from his side with strong and selfless commitment and confidence. He knew and understood me very well like my heart used to be just a mirror for him and I was an an open book to him.  I used to feel so safe,  so natural and so comfortable with him,  that I have never ever felt with anyone in my life ever.   Not even girl-boy barrier, so pure!!!

 We never had fights between us and even if sometimes, we did have some small fights and I used to go silent, but  he didn't allow  me to stay silent for more than 24 hours. He knew how to break my silence and how to bring smile back on my face. He always used to say this that he can never see me sad and will always be with me. Even if he has to go up in the universe, yet his soul will always be with me not gonna leave me and he said right he was with me till his last moment and his soul is still with me. 
 
And then a very long distance came between us, people among us often felt that such friendship can not happen. A boy and a girl can never be friends. They felt that he might have some special feelings in his heart for me. I ask you all,   Do you also feel that a boy and a girl can never be friends? I always treated him as my elder brother, a God gifted person who always showed me the right path, a mentor, a friend. His family also thought the same and then,  I thought its better to stay away from him. Our friendship began to be questioned and it was not at all acceptable to me and I stopped talking to him. I never answered any of his  call or message. He always hold his side of friendship with self less commitment and never left me  On my birthday or any special occasions he used to come to my house to find me and I never used to come in front of him. And this silence lasted till 3 years , when one day my father explained to me that good and true people and true friends are very hard to find, never do this with them. I told him everything and also the reason but on his advise, I started talking to my best friend again.
 
He never tried to change me but I changed a lot with him. Just like he changed my whole life. On his bye bye from this world,  he taught me the right way  to live. The girl who was  always afraid of love, was taught to share love. He taught me to share love with an open heart. In my life, my students, who inadvertently held me in these tears and made me laugh and walk again. I did not know that I will be  so changed with him that I will start changing lives of many other people. He always used to make fun of me, by saying , ""you give so much lecture yaar.!!! Become a mentor!! "" I miss that a lot. Every moment, everywhere for so many months, I saw him  like chasing me wherever I used to go.  I could not believe that he was gone. Its like my eyes are finding him and if by chance I meet him somewhere i will start fighting with him. Just one question in tears ? Where have you gone brother?? please come back how many things remained incomplete. I always thought that I will tell him tomorrow but it didn't come. Our talks were limitless and he used to listen to me for hours without any complaint and without saying anything. Now with whom I will share everything now I have no one who will listen to me like you and once again I became alone. Just smiling with students and after that again alone. He was my mentor, my guide, my friend, my brother in short he was everything to me and even I don't know what he was to me may be an angel. But whatever it was it was a soul connection. Like I used to handle everything emotionally, mentally and solve everyone's problem strong hard rock Shalini in front of everyone , he was the only one who understood me and handled me like no one else. I used to forget all my problems when I was with him and so as he.
 
It felt like I had become orphaned in just one moment. That day,  I realized the  feeling if someone doesn't have anyone close,  how bad it feels.  But I have always been walking alone since childhood. I have been handling myself falling and getting up on my own,  then why it was so difficult to walk alone today? I guess some habits are such.  I had just forgotten to walk alone.  I was such a changed person with him.  He had become such a part of my soul and my life. 

After coming back from my sessions,  I used to sit at metro station for  hours all alone like mad.  It used to be a common point for us and this was one place we used to cross our paths and used to meet often. I used to sit there and hopelessly wait for him for hours until someone used to come and say to me, " Why are you sitting here like this?  Who are you waiting for?  It's been a long time.  Pls go to your home!!"My eyes were always looking for him.  Ohhhh God,  pls help me!!    And then,  I used to go home but again in tears.  I used to ask my Gannu Bhaiya,  "" What do I do?  Pls help me!!  I see him everywhere!!  I don't want to live in Delhi anymore!!  Pls help me,  pls pls help me!!  And then,  I heard a voice.  I looked here and there... Where is this voice coming from.  I was zapped   I was going mad alone like this and nobody to talk to. I wanted to cry and lay my head on someone 's shoulder and pour my heart out but unfortunately,  that only shoulder was gone.  And,  I had to be my own weeping shoulder like always.  But this pain was quite different than the pain I had felt otherwise in my life.  

And I kept listening to one song that time, " Chitti na koi sandesh,  jaane woh kaunsa desh jahan tum chale gaye., Is dil pe lagake thes ........ Kaise maan le hum yeh ki haan tum chale gaye........ ""

I kept on asking Gannu Bhaiya, " Whenever anyone comes close to me,  you always take him away.  You took my grandfather also away from me when I was a child and he was the only one pampering me. ""
.  Thinking all this,  I don't know when I slept and I saw him in my dreams.  He said,  ?You know I can never see you sad. Do You want me to be happy and at peace?    Then you will have to walk and smile again. The dreams, I dreamt for you, you have to fulfill them. I am always with you? and just after that I made a promise to myself and got up and started walking again It was difficult to walk alone like this as I was so used to him. He still gives me encouragement by staying together like this forever. Some soul  connections are very strong!!! Now, I still see him and feel him around but with me,  still walking with me,  holding my hand like a child 
 
That one moment changed me so much that I,   who was never able to express myself, kept everything in my heart , began to tell everything regardless of tomorrow. Who knows if it is tomorrow, whatever it is. This is the only  moment and that's the truth.  Seize it.  He taught me life is  long but  also very short. We should live it to the fullest. 
 
And yes, there are some special days when he used to be with me like my birthday, he used to never forget my birthday and I also, We still celebrate together. Even today on his birthday, I cut the cake and while waiting for his cake on my birthday, I close my eyes and remember for a few moments and cry a little, then I again hear his voice in my ears,  saying  ? I can never see tears in your eyes. You look very sweet when you smile.? That feeling does not end with someone going away. People who are very close to your heart, even after being away are special; he will always remain in my heart, in my memories.
 
 Even today I see him in a song of friendship??., 
in someone's friendship or at some place. Everyday I promise to myself that I have to fulfil all the unfulfilled dreams, he saw for me and I know , he is always with me and will always be with me.
 
There was someone who knew me more than I knew myself, who used to see and understand my pain behind my smile. Someone who could  see my tearsi even in rain also. He is now  lost somewhere as one of the stars in the sky and will be with me like a blessing always!! 
 
If he would have been with me in this lockdown, my lockdown would  have been very different.
And If I sit to write about him.  pages will be  over but memories and our talks about him  will never be over.  And I am still getting some tears and some smile on my face writing this story and sharing it with you.  It took me a long time to realize his friendship and his importance in my life.  I never knew that I will miss him so much. 
        Some things,  I have really learnt from him and life  apart from many more things  -

1.  Many times in our lives,  someone is really around you,  but we take him for granted and we don't value him her as much and after he or she is gone,  we realize that that person was the only one who was so precious in your life.  I also realized it very late as he was always around me,  in my initial years  of friendship with him, I used to get annoyed with his constant calls and care but he was always the same for me since the beginning till his last breath.  As a person, I was not used to such care and closeness as I am a deep introvert ,all by my own always.  But he never changed his love and care and commitment for .me . It was so selfless.  We should value all we have.  

2. One moment has the power to change you and your life.  I was never an expressive person,  being an introvert.  I became expressive after that moment.  That moment changed me a lot and I realized that we should always express our gratitude and feelings for our close ones in the moment because you never know,  what the next moment holds or brings for you. 

3. Selfless love with open and whole heart and commitment come what may,  is the only purest form of friendship and love. He walked with me all throughout selflessly come what may and is still Walking with me.  
4. Going with the flow in life is sometimes good,  that's another thing I learnt from him and life. Journey of my mentoring and sessions started just like that when he told me to take it up.  " He said, " you love kids and theatre,  and also you are an inborn problem solver and guide." Starting with small kids and the elder ones, me and my  life changed so much.  These sessions kept me alive and kept me going after he left me alone in this world.  I was in my session,  when the news of his death reached me in my message box.  I had to still smile and give the session with a heavy heart.  

5. His entry and role in my life was a great turning point for me.  I,  as a person,  used to follow the rules book always and always very planned.  I learnt to open my mind and sometimes take the day as it comes.  Take life as it comes,  trust life,  trust Universe and go on.  I became open to people,  to things,  and largely,  I became open to love and life.
6.  I used to hold old things, old hurts, which are not good , so tightly. I learnt to liberate myself and let go.  It felt much lighter, nice and beautiful!!  

7. I learnt to forgive myself and others.  Not judge others and accept them the way they are.  
Well,  again,  the list of learnings is long enough but will end it here for now . 
       8. He was a very simple person with a selfless golden heart.  A gem of a person and a great human being.  He might not have been very good at many other things but in terms of humanity, he created an example.  I grew and became a much better person just being with him.  

Whatever is meant for you,  will be with you and come to you,  come what may,  at the right time.  And what is not meant for you,  will leave you,  no matter how tight you hold on to it. 

Some relationships change with time and life.  Some relationships change you and your life. You need to choose which one is meant for you , valued for and worthy enough !! 

       
If you also have any such friendship in  your life,  pls share your  story or your  moments and some of your memories with me, I will be happy to read

This story is a small tribute to my Angel Bestie Bhai!!  My Guide!!

Lots of love and my best wishes!!!
 Keep smiling!!
 Stay safe, stay blessed and stay happy always!!
Shalini

Shalini  posted in Stories

Post updated on:  Aug 1, 2021 12:34:46 AM

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